HAPPY BIRTHDAY 'WEE WEE'...'36'...and other stuff!

Well, Wendy is 'holding her own' as time marches on. At 36, she is still gorgeous and a real 'head turner'. So, just wanted to get in a HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENDY post here before too much time goes by past her Birthday.

We went to a $75.00 a person fundraising dinner together several weeks ago for the 'Children's Advocacy Center' which is a wonderful program, and I found myself among the Newport 'muckety mucks' or 'wanna be muckety mucks' after a long. dry spell. I have to admit that after a few hours I was more than ready to go. Wendy, of course, worked the room like the pro she is...but I am in such a 'why bother' stage in life...it was difficult not to go wait in the car. lol I don't know if it is because I have been so 'burnt out' on these things for many years now that I had to restrain myself from running from the room...or, if it is just because my life is so remote from all 'that jazz' now it is just plain uncomfortable.

Don't get me wrong, we were at a table with Wendy's boss and her husband and some other really nice people which was enjoyable, and there was a silent and live auction and a great full band playing nostaligic music etc....but, I think after hundreds of such events...the zest for them just get's up and goes somewhere else. It was sort of like the Visalia Chamber Christmas Tree Auction without the Christmas trees...and I found myself with 'zero' interest in meeting anyone new. Maybe I can go to one of these events once a year and be ok with it, but don't wager any money on it. lol

Now, it was really fun to have Ashleigh, Jon, Jordan and Emily and the Denison family here for a Birthday dinner for Emily, and the smaller, more personal get togethers are a lot of fun. Of course the kids were having fun and I enjoyed that even more. Watching them and talking to them and listening to them is such a blast. Emily is learning the 'balance beam' on a log. Jon has grown another foot and Ashleigh was just a delight to be around. The Denison's are becoming such good friends, we now have their 16 year old son working for Hogfather's (and around the ranch as needed) and Rhonda is working for Faye two afternoons a week for now. Monday afternoon and Friday afternoon.



















This coming weekend is the 'Biker Swapmeet' at Hogfather's and there will be rock & roll, and catering of Frito Boats & Hot Dogs by Will and Wendy, and a big 'blow out sale' of Hogfather gear, clothes etc. so a lot of time and energy is going into that right now. We had dinner at Wendy and Will's last night and Will made a three bean lamb chili that was great...and it was so much fun that we forgot the time until Will announced he wanted to go to bed and we all then scattered like cockroachs when the light is turned on. lol

Wendy, Will, Allen and I went to a very high dollar dinner at the Shalishan Lodge for Wendy's Birthday, and to say we were disappointed is the understatement of the year. It was really awful for the price and the service matched it.

Sunday, Wendy, Will and I went to the 'Wine and Seafood Festival' which was a lot of fun too.

So, sometimes it's 'chicken' and sometimes it's 'feathers'....

In any event...HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENDY, (February 16th)...and I am wishing you many, many more!

THE LAST GOOD-BYE...

We spent a good part of yesterday with Wills family. A wonderful feast and people hugging one another. I saw the remarkable progress on the home Nyna and Eldon bought only two year's ago as they hosted an event that brought William together with his sisters Nyna, Marilyn and Mary. We know Nyna and Eldon best and have become good friends of theirs...Although we only live across town from them, we don't see them as often as we should, since life is always getting in the way.

I was a little surprised to see that the little girl of Marilyn's "Katherine", was such a young lady now, and remember our family spending Thanksgiving with them at Will and Wendys home on South Jacob in the back house....and now there is a new little 'guy' Marilyn was fussing over who is about Ean's age. On the surface, it appeared like dozens of family 'get togethers' we've had over the years.

As people talked in quiet and respectful tones, a video was playing on the television of a little guy about eleven (Number 24) completely absorbed playing in a football game, there were quite a few on his team (and the other team) who were taller...but no one was showing more 'heart' than this little guy. Our teens; Jordan, Ashleigh, & Jon along with Katherine, were in the back room playing pool as the kids congregate together anytime there is a family event.

It seemed odd to me to see Mary's 'ex-husband' Bruce, busy in the kitchen preparing a great salad and serving as a 'chef' right along with Mary's sister Nyna.. who had been cooking her heart out for a few days. It felt odd because Allen and I only know her current husband, Joe who is an easy going kindly, likeable guy with a lot of God in his heart...and we've only seen him off kilter once before because he has such a gentle nature. Two husbands in a room is always sort of odd, isn't it?

...and then there was Mary. Everyone knows Mary as a past National Line Dancing Champion and now a teacher of it, and of all of William's family (besides Will) Mary has always impressed me as the most gregarious and outgoing of the brood I've met so far. She has that great big smile that can light up a room, and she draws people to her with what Allen and I now call that 'Rudy charm'...they all have it, but Mary seems to have an extra share of family concerns.

She's always ends up the mediator in any family squabble it seems.

Her normally good natured and sunshine disposition was missing something that day, as her eyes welled with tears on and off during the day and several times she struggled to keep her composure. "I'm OK," she assured others now and then, probably trying to put them at ease. That would be Mary.

Still, it was easy to see that A deep, soul piercing sadness engulfed her and one did not have to search her eyes for long to know she was suffering the deepest and most profound pain any human being can experience in their lifetime.

We were there to say 'The Last Good-Bye' in Celebration and Memorial of Mary's just 26 year old son, Christopher Tallman.

As stories of his life unfolded, it was easy for any mother to relate to the hopes and dreams we all have for our children from the moment of birth. The overwhelming responsibility we feel in our lacking attempts to nurture them and prepare them for the world they will one day inherit.

Those first steps, the first day of school, their antics and antidotes that are repeated so many times throughout their lives as family folklore, their challenges, their successes and their defeats. The joy they bring, the worry they give us, the laughs and the tears. Our Children are the central focus of our lives, and no other relationship can compete with the forever, no matter what happens, love of a mother for her child.

Even as Christ died on the cross friendless and abandoned by even his most trusted disciples, his mother was there. A mother is always there, alwaying loving, always hopeful, always waiting, always advising, scolding, reprimanding, warning and always cheering for and praying for her child's tomorrows, no matter what the trouble... no matter what the season. Neither time, nor distance, nor age, nor pain, nor circumstances can ever change a child's daily presence in a mother's life.

Christopher's life was cut short in Reno, Nevada on Tuesday, February 7, 2006

when a routine visit to a Probation Officer went horribly wrong and ending his life with one bullet fired to Christopher's head and three bullets into his chest. His last conversation with his Mom just a few weeks before was full of hope, and of God, and of his struggle to take care of the wreckage of the past, and his pride that he was getting all the fines, and consequences of his arrest behind him.

It was a 'wreckage' that began with his arrest for use of Methanphetimein (METH)

here in Oregon

less than a year ago.

He was working as a Cab Driver in Reno, where his peers called him responsible, funny and a pleasure to work with. Part of the Rudy Family lives in Reno so he was among some family too. He still had his Cab Driver ID tags on as he lay on the floor in that Government building letting out his last breath of life, among strangers.

There is significant confusion about what 'exactly' happened during that altercation, but the results are clearly defined as far as Christopher is concerned. No one may ever know what went wrong in that room with no camera to serve as witness,

but one Mother knows her child is forever taken from this earth.

...but the way to his death began long before the bullets were fired, the dust settled and the cremated remains of this young man adorned a little table in a warm cozy home, surrounded by photos celebrating his life...with Family gathered around to share the Last Good-Bye and awaiting the scattering of his ashes on the pristine beach he so loved.

...but, the pathway to his grave began way before then.

It began with one moment's cavalier decision to use drugs as a way to enjoy life more, or self medicate the feelings and emotions a teenager experiences on their way to adulthood , the single most thing leading to his eventual death started with

his introduction to the intoxicating allurement of "METH'.

'Meth' provides all the 'emotional strength and control' any teenager might seek. It's high is one of great euphoria that instills it's user with supreme confidence, illusions of greatness, and a sense of well being that no teenager has or feels without it naturally. Teens struggle though those years with mood swings and personality changes that have baffled parents forever but they can easily become 'superheros' in their own minds...with just one simple and complusive 'try' of the drug offered them.

Is it any wonder or surprise that when a 'cheap magical potion' is promising such a remarkable and immediate 'relief' of the self doubt, confusion, shyness, self consciousness, fear and pain teens experience during these times..that so many are reaching for it today? Is it any surprise that the teens that reach for 'Meth' are usually the most sensitive and emotional in a family?

The sad irony of this youngsters journey into hell is just a natural result of a society who demands instant gratification and has too much time on their hands

they've passed along as a unknowing Legacy to their children.

Parents scratch their heads wondering 'what they did wrong' to cause their teen to make such a terrible choice, but what if parents knew that the choice to use METH will most likely be made by the child who made them laugh and smile the most, and who cared the most about everything, and who served as the catalyst to keep the family together and who tried to 'please everyone' the most?

....and then, there are the lies.

In the name of protecting our nation's offspring, society and parents regularly admonish their kids to, "Just say no to drugs', as if all drugs presented the same danger and consequences in their lives, and as if using any one of them might have the same results. As parents reach for their glass of booze or prescription medication to resolve their own issues of discomfort, they fail to see the messages their children are receiving by 'seeing' how things really work with their own eyes.

Parents often have no idea whatsoever about their kids 'experimentation' with alcohol or drugs...and because they came out of their own 'wild and crazy days' they assume their children will as well. When it comes to METH,

parents need to throw all those pre-conceived ideas into the trash can.

The impact of any statement about 'Don't use Drugs' is voided by the reality of a world seeking life without pain and problems, emotional growth without unhappiness and sorrow and disappointment difficulty, and self esteem without doing anything worthy of it. Even more serious is a hypocrisy exhibited by our own 'self medicating' behaviors we consistently deny exists.

An entire culture of such hedonistic dishonesty invites 'Meth' into the best of homes as often as it visits the worst of homes. A fact many parents lament too late.

So, like so many others, Christopher...a sensitive kid with the 'heart' of a Lion reached for Meth, and everyday, Kids are reaching for it and beginning a journey like no other in the history of our nation. How can any honest person "condemn them" for making such a decision? I can't.

It is the natural evolution of nature and nurture we have enfolded them with from birth as a self indulgent society. Anyone of us would rush a child to medical attention if they ingested a poisonous substance, but strangely deny medical treatment to our children during the most critical time of their development when we find they have used drugs.

We offer them the horror of jail as a punitive answer to their need to self medicate instead. We abandon them to computer games and television and their music as we struggle to attain even higher degrees of 'comfort' and prestige in our own lives. We expect 'someone else' to give them the the essential tools they need to deal with 'life on life's terms' because we have forgotten it is our job to 'train them and prepare them for a world that is harsh and cold toward the meekest and weakest of us.

We expect teens to make 'good choices' at a time when their brains aren't developed enough to know what 'sound reasoning is', much less practice it. We do everything 'wrong' and then expect something 'right' to come of it.

Most parents don't even know what 'lethal' ingredients are a part of Meth, but we do know that a kid drinking 'bleach' needs immediate attention by professionals. How is it that we have failed so miserably to make the connection between 'poison', and 'poison' in the span of a few years for a growing child?

Is it any wonder at all that Meth usage among kids is epidemic and almost every family is touched by it today? Access to it is remarkably easy.

Continuing the 'lie' that Meth is like any other drug is doing a great disservice to our kids. It is like comparing someone drinking a 'glass of wine' with the 'skid row bum'...and treating them the same.

The price tag for continuing this lie is more and more children and young adults dying needlessly at an oh so early age. Why are we building more prisons, and no Challenge Camps for young kids on drugs? Has all reason and common sense left the world in the past three generations? Has anyone noticed that Lyndon Johnson's "War on Drugs' was lost a long time ago and we need to stop doing the same old things still expecting different results?

As a nation, we have all but eliminated 'smoking' as a common enemy to children.

Yet our 'sacred booze' has been relatively ignored as a worse enemy than smoking ever was. So it is the same with METH compared with Pot as each of them carry the same consequence legally, but mentally, physically and emotionally

they are worlds apart.

So Chris, like so many before him, and so many more to come after him... Reached for 'poison' and lost his own personal War before he really had a chance to live and thrive and teach. There is no condemnation for him as he fought valiantly to overcome an enemy so powerful, baffling and cunning it takes "everything" with amazing speed.

In our own family we have seen the destruction of my brothers life and family with his use of Meth, and our Grandson's struggle to come through it alive as well as he pays a steep price born of skateboarding and having some fun, and from his own mother's lifelong addiction to drugs, including meth. It cost him his last year of High School as a Senior enjoying the events and 'top dog' position they so relish, his education, his freedom when he was jailed for joyriding someone elses ATV, along with the trust of our family and his 'carefree' youth that could have been had METH never crossed his path. He is only 20 years old and now waits on a long list to get into a Recovery Home designed for alcoholics because there is nothing else available for him in the richest State in the Nation, California.

We've been as "ignorant and confused" as everyone else when it comes to knowing a right plan of action that will restore our kids to the people we once knew before it is too late, but like anyone victimized through severe Trauma, these kids can never be the same.

In our family there is still hope for 'recovery' from this ravaging drug.

For As long as they are breathing, there is "hope".

The death of this young man is another grim witness proving that we are ALL ill prepared to face it in our own children and grandchildren if they should reach for the 'magic potion' themselves. Many fear their friends and even their own families 'knowing' about their suffering family because they fear

condemnation by others. They keep the 'addictions' a secret, and blame everything and everyone for it but the one thing it really is....the DRUG.

Our Grandson, like Christopher was a good kid...not some schoolyard problem kid, he had a strike against him due to an addicted Mother, but that reality could have provided a strength as a 'deterrent' just as well. I know a lot of tea toting adults who don't drink because their parents were drunks. It could have been that way for him,

but METH is too strong and powerful of a drug

for a kid to 'fight' alone.

If Christopher's brief life and death could save one child from the same fate, his life would not have been in vain. Yet, like most families in such tragic circumstances, we don't talk about the 'root' cause of death because it brings such guilt and pain to us who are still coming to grips with the unbearable loss of a child.

As parents, and grandparents, we must realize that 'we are totally alone' in our efforts to keep this child killing drug out of our own kids reach as a lack of 'access' to it would prevent many from 'reaching' for it to begin with. No school or government agency can make a dent in this awful scourge without our complete knowledge and cooperation...and even if they could...why aren't parents being reminded more regularly that their own kid's wellbeing is their responsibility?

It is our "job, and ours alone" to learn as much as we can about this lethal poison and share the absolute unvarnished 'truth' about it to everyone we know.

We need to stop comparing it to marijuana or booze or anything else out there we may have experienced ourselves.

Meth is too fast to 'addict' and too deadly to be classified in the same league with other drugs. It's Cheap and easy to manufacture, contains deadly ingredients
that immediately begin to rot teeth, kill brain cells, create lesions and age victims as it ravages every cell in their bodies while it destroys the bodies natural ability to produce the chemical dopamine in the brain; a chemical that gives us all a sense of levity and well being.

A baby born without the chemical 'dopamine' present in the brain will die.

Is it any wonder, that deprived of this essential brain chemical, a METH user will seek it again and again even after knowing first hand it's lethal and destructive power? As their lives spiral downward, their shame and guilt increases and their need for the 'affects' of the deadly drug grows accordingly.

The "euphoria" METH first delivers is so strong the drug 'calls' the user for months and even years after their last use, and leaves them in a constant state of potential relapse for the rest of their lives

and even as their body struggles to regain a natural balance.

No one would expect a young person with every bone in their bodies broken to be 'whole' overnight, and without benefit of long physical therapy, but that is exactly what we expect of our children who become addicted to METH.

We prefer to stay ignorant of our most lethal enemy, and this leaves our 'trying to recover' children to fight it alone AND almost completely 'unarmed'.

The words of a teenagers poem below should resonate in ever ear and on every street corner in America, and I pray that it sticks in your brains as it does mine for the Sake of every 'Christopher' in the nation.

It is a powerful and poignant view of the 'enemy' we face with METH and may you bravely face every word of it regardless of how painful it is, and in spite of your own denial system of belief about it being able to touch your own family and children.

Nothing known to man is more cunning and powerful than METH.

If you and yours, by some stroke of luck or good fortune, escape the grasp of this epidemic and growing use by our Nation's young, perhaps you can provide some insight and reality therapy to another parent who thinks their kid or loved one will

grow out of it'.

"Not my child". Does not apply when it comes to Meth.


(This was written by a young Indian girl who was in jail for drug charges, and was addicted to meth. She wrote this while in jail. As you will soon read, she fully grasped the horrors of the drug, as she tells of it

in this simple, yet profound poem.

She was released from jail, but, true to her story, the drug owned her.

They found her dead not long after, with the needle still in her arm.)

Please keep praying for our Children, Teens, Young adults. Understand, this thing is worse than any of us can ever imagine and please do whatever you can to destroy the 'source' of it in your own back yard.

Prevention is truly worth a thousand pounds of cure,

where this 'specific' drug is concerned.

I AM METH

I destroy homes,
I tear families apart,
I take your children, and that's just the start.

I'm more costly than diamonds,
more precious than gold,
The sorrow I bring is a sight to behold.

If you need me, remember
I'm easily found,
I live all around you - in schools and in town

I live with the rich,
I live with the poor,
I live down the street, and maybe next door.

I'm made in a lab,
but not like you think,
I can be made under your kitchen sink.

In your child's closet,
and even in the woods,
If this scares you to death, well it certainly should.

I have many names,
but there's one you know best,
I'm sure you've heard of me, my name is crystal meth.

My power is awesome,
try me...you'll see,
But if you do, you may never break free.

Just try me once
and I might let you go,
But try me twice, and I'll own your soul.

When I possess you,
you'll steal and you'll lie,
You do what you have to - just to get high.

The crimes you'll commit
for my narcotic charms
Will be worth the pleasure you'll feel in your arms.

You'll lie to your mother,
you'll steal from your dad,
When you see their tears, you should feel sad.

But you'll forget all your morals
and how you were raised,
I'll be your conscience, I'll teach you my ways.

I take kids from parents,
and parents from kids,
I turn people from God, and separate friends.

I'll take everything from you,
your looks and your pride,
I'll be with you always - right by your side.

You'll give up everything -
your family, your home,
Your friends, your money, then you'll be alone.

I'll take and take,
till you have nothing more to give,
When I'm finished with you, you'll be lucky to live.

If you try me be warned -
this is no game,
If given the chance, I'll drive you insane.

I'll ravish your body,
I'll control your mind,
I'll own you completely, your soul will be mine.

The nightmares
I'll give you... while lying in bed,
The voices you'll hear, from inside your head.

The sweats, the shakes,
the visions you'll see,
I want you to know, these are all gifts from me.

But by then it's too late,
and you'll know in your heart,
That you are mine, and we shall not part.

You'll regret that you tried me,
as they always do,
But you came to me, not I to you.

You knew this would happen,
many times you were told,
But you challenged my power, and chose to be bold.

You could have said no,
and just walked away,
If you could live that day over,
now what would you say?

I'll be your master,

you are my slave,
I'll even go with you, when you go to your grave.

Now that you have met me,
what will you do?
Will you try me or not? It's all up to you.

I can bring you more misery
than any words can tell,

Come take my hand, let me lead you to hell.


GOD HELP US ALL.

and God Bless Christopher as he now Rests in Peace.

REST IN PEACE...OUR FIRST PUPPY JOEY

Now we know for certain that our puppy Joey is dead. Allen found him near the side of our driveway under some bushes as he worked cutting down berry bushes before they start blooming again. The poor guy didnt get very far...near the gray barn for those who know where that is and on the side of the main road coming in here.

Will was here pulling a big tree from the creek where it had fallen during the storms with his new truck, so to get Joey buried as quickly as possible without me knowing it, Allen asked Will to help him and to not tell me that Joey had died yet because he didn't want to ruin my Valentines Day.

I was driving out of the ranch to go get Jordan at school and spotted Will and Jon digging a big hole and stopped to ask them what they were doing? Without missing a beat, Will answered, "Planting a Tree." I knew Allen had twenty small Douglas Firs to plant, but made a mental note that the hole looked awfully big for planting a little tree like that?

Still, I have learned that the way my husband and Will do things often seem strange to me, but the results are almost always pretty good, so I shrugged it off and got Jordan...we were talking on the way back in as she got a pink teddy bear and a single red rose from her boyfriend Bryce at school...but as I drove in I slowed where the hole was and saw a small tree planted in a pretty good sized mound.

About 9 am this morning Allen woke me telling me he had something to tell me, and then he explained that he had found Joey, and they had buried him. I think he wanted to tell me before anyone else in the family 'leaked' it to me.

It has been a sad day today because that was the 'finality' of what we knew in our hearts was true anyway...but there is always a 'glimmer' of hope until all hope is gone.

It was like a miracle getting Nicky back a little over a week ago after more than a month...and finding that a young woman had rescued her floating down the rushing river and took her home to Siletz.

Nicky had a collar and the woman never reported the dog to the Humane Society where we turned in our 'missing dog' report...but suddenly, a month later, and out of no where she called Pat at Hogfathers and said, "I heard you have a missing chocolate Lab and I found one."

I think the single Mom took the little puppy home for her two little children, but the pups are growing fast and soon Nicky was knocking her kids down and they were crying, and then there is the care and clean up and the expense of owning one. Nicky was NOT well behaved coming home...so she was probably a handful for the young girl. Chocolate Labs cost about $250. up, so what was a real 'find' turned into something else as time went on.

Allen was so happy to get her back, he told the girl to pick out any 'ring' in the store as a reward. Nicky still had her collar on, so the girl must have known someone out on this road who KNEW our puppy was missing since Allen and Will went to every neighbor on the road looking for her.

We had given Nicky up for gone (which she may well have been had the woman not rescued her from the raging rivers edge) so it was a big surprise when Allen ran up the stairs to fetch me to see a 'surprise' in the yard...which was a much larger and much more aggressive "Nicky' than we had known.

Nicky was taller than her sister Yahzee, but Yahzee had a lot of 'bulk' on Nicky, but things are starting to even out all around with three feedings a day for the dogs now.

Lucky is getting his strength back and his ribs aren't showing anymore, and he straightened out both of the girls one day by grabbing their necks like a mama dog does and letting them know he is the undisputed Lord and Master around here...and now they only challenge each other.
Nicky has followed the other dogs lead and has calmed down and behaves herself now for the most part...and Allen and I aren't giving up our ultimate "Alpha' roles anymore either like we did with Joey because we didn't know better at that time.

So it will soon be three dogs neutered, Nicky starting her series of shots LATE, and Lucky getting his Rabies soon as he had to wait to get healthy again.

So, this is about 'mixed Blessings'...which is like life...taking the good with the bad, the success with the failure, the problems as they come, saying hello to some new friends and good-bye to some old ones, and we never know when 'check out time' is so it is good to go for the 'gusto' and live life one day at a time. Make sure those you love know you love em, and let them love you too. My son Joey gave me some comfort when he said that the dogs had a better life than most dogs ever do here on the ranch with us around all the time, so even if his namesake's life was cut short it was a good life.

We all need to have a good life as we journey through it don't we? You may be sick and tired of hearing about our dogs, but I couldn't let this time pass and not acknowledge the passing of one and the welcome home of the other and the report on the sick one.

ALL THREE of them are in the house tonight as we have a rare 'coldfront' starting to hit us, and the temperature was hovering around 30 degrees...too cold for them to be outside, so they are in their crates and quietly sleeping now, and I am tired too from the whole emotional roller coaster we've been on for weeks with these pets...so until the next time...

... I still think there are dogs in heaven, so I'll just have to wait to see Joey (underfoot) when it is my time to check out of here.

EMILY'S 3rd BIRTHDAY...THREE RING CIRCUS AT THE RANCH!

JON, JORDAN ASHLEIGH AND CARSON...EMILY, WILLIAM, & PAPA

Rode the Quads and the Trail Bike, and they would have been on the Go Kart except that it developed a flat tire somehow, and like all the other kids (and adults) the Quads are always popular so almost everyone under 40 had a go at them. So there were Quads, and Trail Bikes, and Horseback riding, and Animal loving, and Goat Treating, and BMX Bikes, and Gymnastics, but rather than try to explain it all in a million words, I think the pictures will tell a story.

I'll post the AFTER DARK INSIDE events that happened later in my next post...just too much going on when you have a lot of grandkids, and the Denison's youngest kids (Carson)

all participating in the thrills and chills of a

THREE RING CIRCUS going on at your house! I don't want to mention names, but one parent got pretty involved in all the games too...and having a blast with ALL of his kids, finally.

COWGIRL EMILY WAITING FOR HER "RIDE"

COWGIRL UP!

'ONE HAND OFF', NOW THAT'S GOOD RIDING!

EMILY is still obsessed with horses (Bucky & Duke, Bucky & Duke, Bucky & Duke....) and she received plenty of them for her birthday presents...which made all the other presents sort of...second hand choices for fun, but what a thrill she had when Police Chief Denison, his wife Rhonda and his daughter Savannah brought up one of their horses for the circle around the house ride.

When it was over after a couple of dozen rides around the house alone and with Savannah, she reacted about like EAN did at Christmas time when he had to get off the ATV. The only thing that made it OK was that there was Birthday Cake and Present opening going to go on inside after the riding was done.

As you might guess, Emily preferred to ride alone rather than with another rider.






WILL TOOK A TURN on the horse and rode him (Bucky) back to where they keep them toward the entrance to our private road, but he did a little off road of course, and by then I think Bucky was happy not to have to walk in a circle anymore.




WILLIAM AND JON demonstrate that riding the BMX Bikes is as easy as...well...riding a bike!

All the kids took turns on the bicycles too, and Jordan and Ashleigh rode down the lower pasture road and then up the hill. It think it will fun when we get the 'track' in before summer, don't you.

FUN TO WATCH...that is.

HEY! WHERE'S THE "BIG FINISH"?

JORDAN AND ASHLEIGH -
Using a fence log as a balancing platform to see who can push who off is one 'game' we hadn't thought of, but it was a lot of fun watching them.

Later it became a balance beam and even Johnathan and Carson had to show they could cross it just fine.

Of course, those with some gymnastics experience did it a little more gracefully.

NUMBER ONE MUTT QUEEN!
>
ASHLEIGH has always liked affection, but here it seems she is getting more than she bargained for, then Yahzee jumped in right after this photo.

I think she is the most 'loving' of the Rudy's I've met so far...as she is excited to come visit the animals and pays attention to them for a long time, and she loves horses too and rides in Sacramento. She's grown a lot since the last time I saw her...but I haven't had a chance to talk with her much yet.

THIS IS MY 'NUM NUM'!

POPULAR EMILY - It seemed like Emily was getting 'over the top' popular with all the animals...and then I spotted WHY...she was given some of those yummy 'mini frosted shredded wheats' the goats have loved since we introduced them to it the minute they were weaned!

The pups, Yahzee, Nickie, and Lucky along with Billy Tom and Nanny Jordan were all going for that LAST NUM NUM Emily had in her hand.

Of course, Emily was beating them back because she had decided to keep that last one 'for Emily" and she never did give it up...so I had to go rescue her right after this shot.

CANADIAN WHITE SPRUCE...OH YEAAAHHH!

We're still working on our Log Home and outside...so thought I would share some progress with you here.

Real "Log homes" are different than stick built in many ways, but one unique way is that about every twelve years the exterior needs to be stripped down and retreated with a water proof coating.

Our home is now twelve years old, of course and the former owner didn't do it...so it came to us.

Allen has most of the lower level done and the difference is 'astonishing' to say the least! We haven't decided if we want a clear coat, or if we want some sort of light stain included in the coating yet...but now I surely know why the logs used to build this home were named... Canadian White Spruce! I had no idea of how dark and awful the wood had become from the weather and dirt and moss and mold and all the things that affect natural wood anywhere. Check out the top half of the home compared with the lower half...wow huh?

Now that the wood is cleaned, it looks like they just hauled it all in yesterday and set it up! The home is looking very 'brand new', which is pretty unique for a twelve year old home anywhere.

The Gutters were clogged, and we have to clean the moss from the roof that formed over the winter...and guess what! We have twenty baby 'douglas fir' trees to plant...our first planting. We are going to get 100 more, mostly Doug Firs but also Redwood and another kind I forgot the name of for now!

WE also found out some new things about our ranch I didn't know before. We are the ONLY ranch out here "Licensed and Permitted" for a Timber Mill and we are the ONLY INDIVIDUAL OWNERS with this 'Permit' in Lincoln County. We could have semi-trucks coming in and out of here daily and no one could say a word. We also have a 50' easement on either side of the road on everyone elses land that allows us to clear any trees or brush that interferes with big semi trucks coming in and out of here...we can cut it down or cut it back.

Not everyone can appreciate how that made us smile, since we had those awful neighbors in Visalia with their tree hanging on our roof and pea looking pods always in our pool and then calling the police when we cut the part in our property off our roof. This was just too funny to find out. lol

We also found out that the former owner never milled the now 60 year old Douglas Fir Trees around the house and barns because he planned on them providing his total 'retirement'...now I have to find out what these large trees are really 'worth' to a timber mill...(since he said that) and I gotta tell ya, I haven't a 'clue'.

About twenty of the Alder Trees on the West Mountain Range (by the love shack to the property line for those who went there on the ATV's) were felled by the series of storms we had, so when Will gets home, he and Allen will probably go out and start cutting them up and bringing them back to season for next year.

...and it was 62 degrees today, and sunny for the past 4 or 5 days...with more sun to come (finally), and I saw evidence of 'spring' coming all over the place when we went on our Quad adventure yesterday...even in the little barrell shown above!

I saw two little forked horns right outside our first gate, and a good sized buck the other day...so I guess we'll be seeing a lot of little 'fawns' a few months down the road. One of the doe's has had twins every year for the past ten years...last year my son-in'law Jim was petting the horses that were here and they got spooked and 'hopped' up and away...he laughed like hell at that funny sight!

If the Global Warming local Scientist's predictions are right," our summers will be longer and hotter, and our winter's shorter and more severe"...and it has been on the 'more severe' winter side this year for certain...but in Oregon, a long 'hot' summer would look like 70 - 75 degrees...I can dig that for sure!

HOMECOMING...

Lucky was able to come home today after seven days in the hospital.

He is starting back on some special food, so we feed him every two hours and watch to see if he up-chucks (we've had one 'up' so far), then he only gets 'ice cubes' instead of water, and we watch him on that too.

So it is a little like taking care of an infant as he begins the long road to building his strength and 'bulk' back.

Add all the things we have to do for Faye now, and it is like running a home for the disabled inside and out.

Yahzee didn't know what to make of Lucky at first and acted like she didn't know him...so she was raising all kinds of hell when he first came home, but she soon settled in to proving herself the ALPHA around here, and of course, she won.

She took over 'Joey's' position in the dog house, and was pretty firm about it, so Lucky went and laid in the sun on the porch, and later...out on the lawn, so she followed him there. Look at her face in the photos and you can see the 'confidence' she has after 'testing' out Lucky's strength.

Allen worked on stuff today near the house, cleaning out the totally clogged 'gutters' so he could keep a close eye on things and see how it went, picking up limbs he cut and those that blew in from the storms last week.

It wasn't long until the 'pups' were following each other around the yard, checking everything out, and Yahzee was trying to drag the limbs of trees Allen cut from the close in big trees the other day (so more sunlight can get to the lawn area) perhaps to show off (who knows?), the limbs were larger than her so she didn't get very far with them, but she TRIED and Lucky seemed pretty impressed.

It would be cool to think like a dog (when you wanted to) and to know what they are communicating with each other, but that is impossible still so we have to put a human spin on what they do.

Yahzee 'frolicked', but Lucky has really limited resources...so he tries, but has to rest frequently. He just sort of 'falls over' when he wants to lay down since he has lost so much muscle, and where he used to lay down with agility...now there is a sort of 'thud'.

Give him two or three weeks, and things will be a lot different I think. So, it's OK that Yahzee has her moment of 'fame', especially since she was the 'runt' of the litter and always had hind tit before...except for Nicky, who was so sweet she deferred to Yahzee and Yahzee was just like Lucky in the sense that both of them never stopped going for ALPHA, even with Joey! It will be interesting to see what happens when Lucky gets his strength back...as he never let the 'girls' win at anything before. Only Joey had dominion over Lucky...and he was determined to keep it that way...under protest of course.

Will is planning on coming home this Friday from Santa Rosa, so Yahzee will probably be going home at nights when he does. Jon and Ashleigh are coming home with him for Spring Break so both Yahzee and Lucky will surely get a lot of love and attention that week. I'm pretty sure the ATV's and probably the new Go Kart will get a good work out as well. Neither Jon or Ashleigh have ever been to the ranch, so they have some surprises in store I think.

I think Karen and Elizabeth are looking at coming up on Spring Break too...so the fun and activity always pleases the dogs...especially all the extra love and attention they get. Of course, Allen and I love all the company that comes from near or far as it adds a lot of spice to our lives.

The sun has been shining bright the past two days and I've been out in it as much as possible. Allen and Jordan just took the Quads to check the West Hill's trail and how it fared with the last storms. I'm going to ride the trails tomorrow, but we had a Doctors appointment today for Faye, several town errands, and Lucky's "Homecoming" and care, so it just got too packed to have time for the trail rides I want to take. I always feel so good when we get to ride around the property..the wind, fresh air and the beauty around me is just good for the soul.

It's supposed to be sunshine all week, so that will be good for Lucky...and for Linda and Allen and Aunt Faye. I even brought Faye outdoors today to show her the work Allen has been getting done around here.

I'll spare you more 'dog talk', but wanted you to know that at least for 'Lucky', we're on the road to recovery.

THANKS for your kind words and thoughts too!

We Cannot experience Great Joy, unless we experience Great Sorrow

A blanket of sadness hangs over our home today as we begin to finally acknowledge that two of our dogs have died and are never coming home again. I've put this off for more than a week, hoping against hope that some miracle would bring little 'Nicky', our newest dog, and 'Joey', our first dog...home to us...but we knew better, really. They were both our chocolate labs.

A few weeks ago our neighbor called and said she saw our dogs down our private road about a mile, so Allen went down to fetch them, even though we were still pretty sick ourselves. When he neared the bridge, only about an eighth of a mile away, he saw Joey and Lucky bounding home, but there was no sign of Nicky.

The creek was swollen and the current was strong and swift following record rain storms this season, and once Joey and Lucky were home, we noticed that Nicky was missing. Nicky (and Yazie her sister who belongs to Will and Wendy) were the little ones, and up until that day, never followed the bigger dogs....but with Allen and I so sick and inattentive to the dogs, and her sister no where to be found (Yazie was home with Wendy and Will) Nicky decided to follow them for the first time. We all looked as much as we could for her, going to every neighbors home...looking everywhere we thought the dogs might have gone...but we didn't find Nicky.

I think the 'boys' went somewhere Nicky was just to little to 'get out of', and it is highly likely she drown in the rushing stream...the little pups had a challenge just getting up and down the steps on the back porch, so steep areas going to what amounted to a 'river' would have been impossible for her to navigate. We hoped that someone 'stole her' and gave her a good home, but as later events would unfold, those 'hopes' are pretty much just 'wishful thinking', I fear.

As you know, from the time we got our first puppy, Joey...until we became sick...being with the dogs was a big part of our daily routine. Joey has always been called 'underfoot', and later, Lucky became 'the inspector', and Nicky was just 'precious and sweet' because of her personality. So after being gone for a week following Joey's wedding, we came home and were so sick the dogs were left on their own most of the time except for the essential caretaking.

Bored and neglected of the human attention they loved so much (as did we), they started going on 'adventures' of their own, and during those adventures...Nicky got left behind somewhere...and the bigger dogs got ahold of some raw fish.

Salmon are spawning in the creek that runs through our property now, (called Little Beaver Creek) and both Joey and Lucky loved the water...so they either fished, or took some leftovers that were on the bank. We haven't worried much about the dogs getting sick, since we've been really good in getting all their shot protocol done when it is supposed to be done, and treating them as recommended monthly with flea and tick medicine, and bathing them once or twice a month as well. No worries, we thought.

About a week and a half ago, Allen bought some new dogfood that was less expensive than they had been eating...but with four growing dogs around...the fifty pound bag was disappearing fast. Joey and Lucky seemed to turn their nose up at it, and wouldn't eat it. After two or three days of not eating the dog food...we bought a more expensive brand...and had the same results for a day or two. By now Joey and Lucky were looking like they lost weight, so we bought the IAMS puppy food they had been used to.

Two more days, and we realized that something was wrong...as it seemed they were spending a lot of time laying in their dog house instead of romping and playing as usual. We called the Vet and told them our concerns, but the people on the end of the phone sort of acted like we were 'worry warts' over nothing. It was a Thursday, but we could have an appointment for the following Tuesday...so for six more days we tried to get food into them waiting to go to the Doctors...they seemed to be better, and then worse, and then better and then worse.

On Monday, January 30th, Joey wandered off and we haven't been able to find him anywhere since then. By Tuesday, Lucky was so weak, he could barely walk as Allen bundled him up and took him to his appointment with the Vet. Then we learned of some awful disease/infection we'd never heard of before.

Lucky has 'Salmon poisioning'.

It seems that in Northern California, Oregon and Washington there is some sort of microscopic parasite 'snail' that lives in the ocean, creeks and rivers, and fish will eat these snails. They don't cause humans any problems, nor the fish...but if a dog eats an infected raw fish...these parasites get into their intestines, multiply and very quickly kill them. Without treatment, it is almost always fatal for not only dogs, but wolves, coyotes, mountain lions, and other predators...except racoons who are immune to them.

Lucky came home from the Vets that afternoon with care instructions, antibiotics, and severe dehydration...with instructions to us to try to get liquids to him. Lucky was so weak he could only hang his head in his water dish (which was inside our home as we laid him on a pillow in the hallway) and suck it down, and so thin and gaunt it was just pitiful. A few minutes later, all the water came up.

Knowing that dehydration is more deadly than disease (since we had become severely dehydrated ourselves through our sickness we found out when we finally went to the doctor) I just felt that Lucky was too close to death for us to make any more stupid and unknowing mistakes with him, so I called the Vet and shared my fears and concerns. I let him know that I believed Joey was probably already dead, and that I was not willing to say good bye to both of them...so what can we do when he can't keep liquids down...and that I think he needs to be in the hospital with professional help, if at all possible.

(The Vet had told Allen that it was very likely that Joey 'went off to die', which Allen had shared with me when he came back with Lucky, so all I could imagine is walking into the kitchen and finding Lucky dead the next morning, and it was too horrifying to contemplate after hearing that our first little love, and bundle of joy, 'underfoot' was probably dead).

The Vet said that we could bring Lucky in then, so we bundled up our "little bag of bones", and took him into the hospital. They started giving him fluids intravenously, a shot of antibiotics (all we had was pills) and he just laid there with the saddest look I just couldn't help from bawling.
Feelings of guilt and self-reproach mixed with fear and sadness, and anger all at the same time.

Between our ignorance and stupidity, and the Vet's staffs 'ho hum' attitude about getting our dogs in...I wanted to slam my head into a wall and then beat them to death as well...but I needed them to fix my Lucky so held my tongue and the rage that started welling up in me.

When Lucky looked at me so helplessly, trying and failing to even be able to wag his tail, I felt like I had betrayed his trust and was just as bad as all those people on animal planet who get arrested for not treating their animals humanely. I felt like an idiot because I always get pissed at people who have animals and then don't feed them or take care of them...and here I was...with two 'loved' dogs probably dead, and the last one teetering on the brink. It was just overwhelming to experience all that, all at once.

On Thursday, the Vet told us that Lucky was still not able to keep fluids down...but that he had the heart and the will to live...so we would just keep treating him with the antibiotics...and for us to come in on Friday as he thought he might make the turn by then.

When I went in, the Vet told me that he had done a complete blood panel on him because two of his readings were seriously abnormal, and he found that Lucky had two more serious infections that required totally different antibiotics. He also had developed a case of roundworm which he probably had, but they did not detect in their first stool analysis.

So, Lucky began a new treatment yesterday, along with the old treatment and he was starting to eat ice...and keep it down. When I went into the room to visit him, he was able to wag his tail 'a little', and when they set him on the floor (from his cage where he laid on a nice blanket) he was wobbly, but he could stand. The technicians said he had 'barked' once that day and that was a good sign, and they all came over and said what a sweet personality he had, and how well he cooperated with everything they had to do to him.

They were pretty concerned that the bill was mounting and did this whole routine about showing me where we were 'so far' financially and carried such looks of fear on their faces anticipating how I might react with the numbers they were about to reveal to me.

$460.00 was the ticket, and to me...coming from California and expecting the bill to be more than a $1,000. easily, it seemed incredibly cheap for the intensive care (he had a chart just like humans do with notations for his blood counts and stool measurements and temperature and the amount of ice he sucked down, and vomiting he had) he was receiving.

They asked if I wanted to take him home? I thought about Yazie jumping all over him (since she is here while Will is gone) and told them no. I wanted him to be a little stronger and able to stand better before we took him home and possibly made a mistake in his care, causing him to get worse. I was thinking about how the Vet discovered the two additional infections AFTER I insisted we bring him into the hospital for treatment, and that he stay there until he got stronger.

They agreed that it would be best for him to stay, but obviously were concerned that the cost was going up as well. I didn't give a rip what it cost... which made me realize just how much 'in love' with that guy we really are. I would have paid a lot more than that to prevent the little guy from going through all the sickness he doesn't even have the capacity to understand.

Today, we received a call from the Vet saying that Lucky has 'made the turn', is responding well to the new antibiotics (and the original one too) and was now able to keep his water down, his temperature is returning to normal and that they were starting him back on food slowly. He wants to talk to us tomorrow if everything continues to improve... to evaluate if he is well enough to come home. He said that he believes it might be good for him to have Yazie challenge him 'for Alpha' if everything went as well until then... as he expected.

"Honestly," he said, "He is Lucky to be alive with as much going on with him as he had, and that Lucky had a stong desire and will to live... which is probably the difference between Lucky sticking around and Joey not wanting to suffer any more than he already had".

Joey was bigger and stronger than Lucky, and both of them were infected at the same time, but one seems to have 'given up' and the other didn't. It is very strange h0w much like humans animals are at times, only lots better.

We already know that Lucky has the most 'heart' of all the dogs, and is the most loving too...but now he'll be coming home and his best pal Joey won't be here to greet him, and dogs grieve at the loss of their friends just like we do, but for now Yazie will be here to torment him and encourage him to play. I asked why dogs 'went off' to die, but no one really knows, I guess.

When we got Joey, we had no idea of anny danger that may lurk around a ranch and taught him to go with us everywhere on the ranch, so his territory was vast and wide and exposed him, and the other dogs who followed him on his missions, to the raw fish that ended up killing Joey, and almost Lucky.

Lucky doesn't seem as inclined to leave the area unless he follows Joey (and most of the time Joey went alone) so we'll have to see what he does when he gets better and gets some weight and muscle back on him, vim and vinegar too. Right now he looks like a dog that is from the starving areas of Africa and he is barely recognizable since another week has gone by without him eating real food, and he didn't have an ounce left to lose when we brought him in, but now he is even worse looking. His eyes look really sad too, and we are so used to them 'dancing'. It is really awful to be so helpless to help them, but having had kids...I DO know that feeling.

If he decides to 'wander', we're having an electric line installed which teaches them where their boundarys are. We've also decided to get him 'fixed' as soon as he is well enough, which is another factor that helps keep them from roaming. If he ever even has a 'sniffle', he will be in that Vets office immediately, no matter how stupidly over-reactive we appear over it. Then, he and we are going to Training School.

Oddly enough, if a dog survives the 'salmon poisoning', they are immune to it for life, much like we are 'chicken pox' once we are infected with it and we form antibodies. Even though Lucky will be immune, we sure don't want him leading any other dogs astray to expose them to this awful and deadly 'crud'. It also causes diarreah, but we've had so much rain and storms here, any evidence of that was washed away long before we were well enough to start looking around for it.

In life, people pass through our lives and we share some time, some laughter and some love together and eventually one or the other of us moves on. We've said good-bye to relationships before and even to our own Dad's when they passed away. It is never easy, but always teaches something if we're ready for the lessons such 'passings' can offer.

We are still to 'raw' over all this to really let it all go by saying good-bye to Joey by celebrating the love and life he brought to us, especially. We're still trying not to mention him as much as possible. We had so much more time and memories and laughter and our lives invested in him than in little Nicky.

It is still almost incomprehensible to believe that we are not going to go outside and get stampeded by them all, vying for attention or a treat....and finally, writing "about all this" is somehow organizing a lot of scattered thoughts over this into some sort of comprehensible format, which allows me to begin the process of "acknowledging" all the sadness and sorrow that permeates this home right now...while we are pretending things are normal... and to recognize and face the 'losses' we're suffering right now.

I think the hope that Lucky will be spared an unspeakable end... has given me the courage to finally think about it without looking away, and sharing it, and by that 'sharing' to let it all become real, and part of our lives forever. When Lucky begins to 'frolick' again, then we will let ourselves grieve.

I never believed it would be possible for us to become so attached to an animal as we have Joey and Lucky especially...but it is possible. It was probably 'time' for me to walk in these 'heavy' shoes to gain a better understanding for people who love their pets with such devotion.

My own voice rings in my ears as I hear myself saying, "My God, it's only a dog (cat...whatever), how can people carry on so? They act like that animal is their child, how silly can you get?" I don't like the sound of it so well today. I regret that 'coldness of heart' towards animals I was raised with, and accepted as 'true' for so many years.

So this ends on a note of great sorrow for me (and Allen), and an even greater joy that Lucky is staying with us for a time longer in our lives... a time we can no longer assume, measure or expect. If we've learned anything from this, we know we can't count on anyone being with us one day longer than their appointed time to go. That alone is a strangely 'sobering' thought.

We'll just appreciate our time together, and love him like our 'child', and act as crazy as everyone else who knows the awesome power of love, brought to us through a creature designed to freely give us an unconditional trust, love and devotion...none of us humans really deserve.

I wonder if dogs will be in heaven when we get there? I hope so, anyway.

R.I.P. JOEY AND NICKY, our beloved pups.