ABOUT OUR 'OLDEST' SON, JIM

It seems like only yesterday that Jim came into my office looking pretty long in the jaw and announced he wanted to 'sell his home'...but it is nearly five or six years ago now.

Jim had been diagnosed with Hep C and for many, that is like the 'kiss of death' for living out a long life.

He had been raising two boys on his own for some time now as a single parent, driving a truck, and it seemed to me that he wanted a lifemate, but somehow never found one that 'stuck'. When Jim had purchased his modest home a few years prior, my daughter Wendy was his 'Realtor'. He hemmed and hawed so much with her after looking at homes for a long time, that she finally told him to buy a home 'cause she needed the money'! He finally 'did it', and now was willing to cash it all in.

I pretty much told him that he was probably just feeling lonely, and that I didn't want him selling his home until his sons were grown unless there just wasn't any other choice. Seemed to me those boys needed something in their life that was more permanent than renting and running, and so did Jim.

I knew that Lindsay was not going with anyone at the time, and Lindsay is a pretty kind person and fun to be around, so I asked her if she would 'go to lunch' with Jim cause I thought he needed a friend right now. We've taken many folks under our wings personally and as a business over the years, and I liked Jim as a person anyway...and I knew she would be interesting and entertaining for him, so maybe he could take his mind off his troubles for a minute or two.

Little did I know that right after lunch, they would become 'inseperable' and both of their lives would undergo dramatic change in the years to come. Lindsay provided the perfect blend of 'babying' Jim, and 'kicking his butt'...and she was very determined to get 'those teenagers' to do their homework and better their grades too.

She blew into the Moore home like Sherman through Atlanta...and I don't think any of these carefree and 'do you own thing' fellas were even remotely prepared for it, including Jim.

In the meantime, in our own family, there were some pretty loud squalls and huffs coming from the Male Members over the new lovebirds. Jim is 20 years older than Lindsay...and that alone was cause for alarm from brothers and Papa...but I always believed Jim and Lindsay went together like 'peas and carrots', and I still do. As time went by, the family 'men' settled down and now would describe Jim a real friend, a good husband and good Dad.

I knew Jim and Lindsay would have some problems because of their age difference, as Lindsy was 21 and Jim was 41 at the time, but I also knew that a lot of problems would not happen as well precisely 'because of' that age difference. In my experience, men are not usually ready to grow up until they reach about 40, and Lindsay had already had a couple of relationships with 'birds with broken wings' that made my 'eyes roll' with heavy 'sighs' and took every ounce of 'charity in me' trying to accept them, but I never could really pull it off. Jim had a lot more to offer her as a husband, even before he let his potential loose. He could walk and chew gum at the same time, and he made her laugh.

It wouldn't have mattered what I thought though, since they already 'only had eyes' for each other even before I became acutely aware that my daughter was spending an awful lot of work time on the cell phone talking to Jim while he was on the road. In fact..she spent more time talking with Jim than she did working at our office for an hourly wage.

It seemed like every five minutes they were back on the phone...talking...and talking...and talking. It became so annoying Lindsay and I agreed to 'separate' ourselves in business for awhile and she went to work for someone else for a season.

Now when most people get married, they promise to stick together for richer or poorer, for better or worse, in sickness and in health...but I didn't expect that would be happening right out of the gate like it did. A newer medicine came on the market that worked miracles for many with Hep C, and Lindsay convinced Jim that he needed to do all he could to 'stick around' for as long as he could...for her because she loved him.

It was a terrible protocol...the same as for cancer patients on chemotherapy or worse...and the shots Jim had to take were devastating on his body and sense of well being. It would also call for a one year committment....for Jim to endure, and for Lindsay to put up with...as they suffered great financial loss due to his inability to work during most of that time to go with it, and Lindsay had to bring in the bacon for real living expenses...something she never had to do before, and that brought her back into what is now 'our' company with a new vigor.

In fact, Lindsay didn't know how to cook, or clean, or even take out the trash on a regular basis. She had only been 'on her own' for a four or five months so it was Taco Bell and drive through for dinner for her....and her money was spent on whatever struck her fancy.

In the middle of the mix was one of Jim's teenage son's Greg, nearly her own age, and another son Tom, a nearly 12 year old who had been ruling the home roost for some time as Jim could care less once he was off the road...and neither of the boys were taking too kindly to the new bossy 'stepmother' they were about to receive.

Lindsay ground them into submission on their homework, like had never been done before. She soon realized that she could have no impact on the older son, Greg...but said "I can beat Tom's butt" if he got out of line. Fortunately, Tom was not a kid that wanted to get out of line, but he resented Lindsay coming into his home and taking over all his decisions. She wasn't very gentle about it either.

Still, Lindsay's determination to make sure Jim was staying on course when he wanted to quit taking a medicine that was making him so violently sick was just what the Doctor ordered. She did it by babying him when he needed love and support, and by threatening to kill him herself, personally, when he wanted to give up...or got too far down in the dumps. Lindsay had the protocol on a countdown, and no matter where they were on it, she would note how far they had already come...and urge Jim to continue, by whatever means she thought might work for the moment.

She brought animals into the home, and Jim endured them unenthusiastically...but one day they saved the life of a tiny kitten that would have perished without them becoming it's 'mother and dad'. It was so small they had to feed it with an eye dropper, and wipe it's butt with a warm cloth to make it poo...and it would be some time before it's eyes were fully opened.

In some ways, that cat Jim named "Larry" believing it a boy (when it was a girl) also played an important role in saving Jim's life as well. When Lindsay was away at work, Jim could do little but drag himself around the house to do the minimum...and he and "Larry" were constant companions. As bad as Jim felt about his 'incapacity' to take care of his family, that little cat had less capacity to take care of itself and live....so they were buddies. It was astounding when I noticed that the 'cat' had the same walk and gait as Jim as it strolled by...so go figure.

Jim and Lindsay decided they would get married once Jim completed his protocol...and then only if it turned out to be positive....but shoving a needle in your stomach three times a week for a year...and taking ten pills a day that made him constantly nauseous while depleting all their financial resources for medicine and insurance etc. instead of having the time of their lives was far from the pic nic they envisioned when it all started. Lindsay was trying to learn to cook and clean, mother, nursemaid and run a household at the same time...and sometimes seemed more than they could bear....and then there was another problem.

Lindsay is from a family that confronts situations and resolves them... and she is an experienced fighter for what she believes in. Jim didn't like confrontation and would just sull up when he became unhappy and wouldn't confront anything...but would stop communicating, which in turn, drove Lindsay up a wall trying to figure out what she did wrong, and how she could 'fix it'?

It was a tough row to hoe for both of them those first years, but to really 'part'...was never an option... since it was quite obvious that there was genuine love and devotion between them...and sometimes the old saying, "All ya need is love..." is sometimes "all we have" in life. It was enough for to pull them through the worst of it.

By the time Jim was through the year of agonizing illness...Tom had resigned himself to having to do his homework...and do it neatly...and he and Lindsay learned to get along better too. Jim sometimes was put in the middle of their squabbles which both his son and Lindsay didn't like since Jim didn't really come to the rescue of either of them...and Jim liked it the least of all....but suddenly Tom's poor grades started to improve, and Tom began setting a little higher goal for his future than he had before. Jim did like that, a lot.

Jim became one of those 'rare' Hep C 'poster child' patients that proved a 100 per cent success in curing the disease...and there has been no sign of it since. There was a lot of true 'grit' involved in Jim coming though with such flying colors...but it belongs not only to Jim...but to Lindsay as well, and even to the credit of Tom who had the patience of Job with both of them for quite a long time as well.

The minute the shots and drugs were done, and Jim felt half way human again, Jim climbed back into the truck as he could not stand not making a living for his family. It is something I have always admired about Jim...he doesn't expect anyone else to pay his or his family's way through life, except him.

He's not a lazy man by any stretch of the imagination...but back then, he would promise too many people, too many things...and then not be able to follow through...as he hadn't learned that it is OK to say no to folks without feeling guilty. Jim always liked to have fun, and he and Lindsay are pretty spontaneous in life as far as being game for new adventures, so along the way they had some great fun and adventures as well. Even when he felt like 'death warmed over', if Lindsay wanted to take a trip to the Coast, he would go and make the best of it...and he liked getting his mind off 'feeling awful' as much as he could too, so his spirits would improve too.

I knew from the day I met him that Jim would be excellent in Real Estate and would succeed the minute he wanted to, but he had a problem making it work for him the first time around once he got his License.

Probably the same problem his older son, Greg, had with his new 'step mom' of nearly the same age. He had a woman only 14 years older than him calling the shots...and he had a fiance who would argue with that same Mom and then complain to him about it. He wanted no part of that scene....and he climbed back into the safety and serenity of driving a truck for a while longer.

As Wendy and I planned to move to Oregon, Jim was tiring of the 'truck driving' as promises made were being broken right and left, and Lindsay complained he was never home...so he thought about giving Real Estate another try....but in the beginning, he had a problem committing to it fully...and to be successful in Real Estate...it's all about 'committment'. Suiting up and showing up and making everyone you meet a potential client is the only way to draw 'dividends' in our business.

When I looked to replace myself in the Mortgage Business, I knew that Lindsay had the ability and knowledge to take the reigns...but even then, it took two years to let her get mature enough to think of it as a business, rather than just a 'job'.

Jim dibbled and dabbled and disappointment caused him to complain that he would go drive a truck again...but Lindsay wanted him to commit to something and stop complaining about it...and finally he decided not only that he could do Real Estate... but that he Would do it.

That was a moment I had waited on for a long, long time. He had a lot to learn, but there were gifts he was a 'natural at' that people either 'have or they don't' and Jim had them all...he really 'likes people'...he's a social person who seldom meets a stranger. He has an instinctive 'charm' like most of his family, and a heart that is as big as the rock of gibralter, and he's honest. He also knows how to 'listen' to his clients wants and wishes, and he is a very intelligent and 'fast study' so seldom makes the same mistake 'twice'.

He was able to put some successful transactions beneath his belt, and has only added more and more increasing success to that success as time has gone on. When Jim and Lindsay married, it was at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas and it was a lovely wedding package...then they went on a Honeymoon of exploration in Arizona and Nevada and wherever they felt like going, they went.

I know that Jim was looking forward to the Boys growing up and becoming independent in a few years so that he as his new bride could see the world, and do all the things 'single parenthood' had denied him, but Lindsay threw a big 'monkey wrench' into any thoughts like that.

She wanted to start a new family! It didn't take long before Jim and Lindsay were at the Doctors office seeing about getting a vascectomy 'Reversal' after twelve years! It was highly unlikely that he would be successful at it since he had just gone through a chemotherapy protocol for a year, and twelve years is a long time being cut to hope for a reversal to work. There wern't too many 'swimmers' around during the early tests either.

...but God is good, all the time...and once again...the Moores received news of another miracle. Lindsay was pregnant and nine months later, I was lucky enough to be there when Ean was delivered and saw the tears rolling down Jim's cheeks just as profusely as they were mine.

I realized that my daughter had made some pretty amazing sacrifices to stay in love with this man as he went thorough his course of treatment, especially for a young woman her age...but I also realized that I was looking at a man who loved my daughter enough to sacrifice the next 20 years or so of what could have been a 'free life' to instead raise another family for her.

I knew he did it because Lindsay wanted children of her own. It was stunning to make that connection...but oddly, I had 'started over' when I had Lindsay as well, because Wendy and David were nearly grown when she was born, so I knew... that he knew... what a long haul 'the second time around' was going to be.

There is a long list of characteristics that I just love about Jim, but I think his good heart is the most meaningful. He is a push over for his sons, all "four" of them now, with new little Benjamin, (the little one above with the crazy hair) so most of the discipline must come from Lindsay. He cries in sad movies just as bad as I do, but it shows his ability to put himself into another's shoes and empathize with them about their troubles.

These two have had few harsh words with one another through all of it, and lots and lots of affection for each other as well. Even though they are very different in nature, they find a common ground in their goodness and wanting to do what is right by their family and each other. Another common trait, for better or not, is that I would not want to bet money on which one of them is more 'stubborn' once the heels are dug in. It's a trait I can't fathom, but it is one that makes me confident that they will grow old together...cause they just won't give up all the hard work they have already done to make their marriage a good one.

They seem to compliment each other, and where one is weak...the other is strong. When Lindsay announced she wanted another baby close in age to Ean, Jim winced...I know, but he was hoping for a girl before bringing the "baby making" chapter to one last close...but alas, when the sonogram was viewed, it was clearly not going to be a girl, so now they have four sons with two 'baby' boys only 18 months apart.

When Lindsay was in labor with Benjamin she agreed that Jim could revisit 'Dr. Vascectomy' one last time, and Jim promptly made an appointment...but didn't keep it. So it may be possible that these two might yet see the odds of 4 to 1 as worth the risk...as they are both optimistic people 90 per cent of the time.

So I think you can add 'bravery' to the list of positive attributes as well for Jim.

In the meantime, Jim took control of the Real Estate business and Lindsay began treating the Mortgage Business more like a business as both of them know that there are two little mouths to feed and another who has maintained such an excellent GPA he will be accepted at almost any college he chooses next year. Greg is out and on his own, and has caused some heartbreak in the family, but we think he will be gaining some ground now due to the circumstances he has found himself in.

Jim and Lindsay have become partners in business in every sense of the word, and together they have great plans for growing and expanding both business so that they can have a few more days off, and a little more time rearing their new little ones and a little less pressure on their own shoulders.

It seems like each week I talk with Jim, (and I love talking to him because he has become a 'best friend' to me)...he grows more in confidence as well as expertise, and Lindsay and Jim are honest to me and to each other...to a fault. They work and live together 24/7 which would test the mettle of any relationship...and sometimes feel a need to do something on their own, alone.

Jim came here for a big fundraiser we were sponsoring "The First Annual Adventure Run 4 Kids" which was a Motorcycle Rally and Program, and rode his Harley Davidson from Visalia to win the prize for farthest ride to get here...but about every few hours, Jim and Lindsay would be on the phone 'talking' with each other and sharing what events or happenings were going on at each end of that phone...and the picture above is Jim talking on the phone to Lindsay during the event itself!

Lindsay once brought Ean to Grammie and Papa's by herself for a visit while Jim stayed home, and again...the phone minutes were piling up rapidly with every new report about what was happening that hour... and it wasn't long before Lindsay was wishing it was time to go home, and Lindsay soon realized, and then admitted to Jim, that it was awfully hard to have all the responsibility of Ean by herself.

These two work in concert like a team. It used to look like two painters painting a wall and trim, but now they looks more like a 'pit crew' at the Indy 500 moving at speeds that would dizzy most! Lindsay was the driving force behind the business, and she comes by that naturally, but Jim has now taken the bull by the horns and has become a Leader in his own right....and is creating enough business today, that the companies have little choice... but to expand.

Lindsay has dreamed of becoming a 'Land Baron' like her Mom (only better) and she's on the right track to that as well with Jim's support and involvement. They have three good investment properties today, and a magnificent huge new home they could entertain an army in.

They went from hand me down furniture to quality 'pieces' anyone would be proud to own...they went from driving cars where one of them would have to drive without air conditioning in 110 heat depending on who needed the good car the most...to now both of them driving some of the best vehicles on the road.

Jim went from selling his new Sedan to make ends meet...to now 'Riding the Wind' on his HD Heritage Springer, and "Flying the Skies' as a Pilot, and Lindsay never hears the word 'no' from Jim about anything she wants, as long as they can afford it, and they have accomplished all that in an amazingly short period of time.

None of it would ever have happened in a million years for either of them, if Jim didn't walk into our lives as 'family' and make a decision to lay down real roots and let them grow. It probably wouldn't have happened if he was a younger guy instead of one coming into his own as he has, and now is even looking at stacking up the investments even further for an early retirement to perhaps then....have that long awaited 'free time' he's earning for himself and his bride.

I will be forever grateful that Jim's love for my daughter has blessed us with two natural Grandson's so far, and the Grandson he let us love, Tom is so special in our hearts that we can't wait for him to come live with us in Oregon while he begins his college career (yep, I love that kid that much!) . His stewardship of our business partnership has helped us through our first full year and a half in Oregon without missing a meal or not paying a bill....and my old clients have confidence in him as he treats them very well. It ALL COMES TOGETHER FOR GOOD...for those who Love the Lord...we have learned time and time again.

Sure, there are disappointments when something turns south...or long hours of labor spent reap no apparent reward, but it all comes out in the wash when one can get up everyday and face a new challenge as he does day in and day out and do the next indicated thing on the road to a better destiny made by the Grace of God and some good footwork on our parts.

I know that the Good Lord brought this wonderful man into our lives, when he needed us most, and he has enriched our family beyond measure ever since. Jim loves to laugh and has a fabulous sense of humor that tickles my funnybone all the time. I adore the 'quick wit' even more.

He gives 'nicknames' to people and gave me mine long ago, "Broom Hilda'! When Lindsay 'barks' too loud and for too long, he calls her "Broom Hilda Junior" which really makes her day...but she gets it. I accept my nickname now with considerable 'fondness' and pride....not everyone is so Blessed to get a 'nickname' from Jim Moore.

You begin to add up the pillars of Jim's character, and it shows a strong and solid foundation to build a future on. It isn't easy to run two business enterprises successfully, own investment property and be Landlords, answer the Real Estate call seven days a week and all hours of the day and night, become involved in community and professional associations, give freely to the poor and needy, and help those who haven't had much chance in life for success...and do it still loving each other as lifemates and as 'best friends'.

Add to that responsibility two babies 18 months apart, a college bound Senior with car breakdowns on a regular basis, and another son running amuck here and there who needs a hand regularly, a big household to run, and regular visits to family...near or far, and you start realizing what a treasure this man is, as well.

Yes, I am very proud of my own flesh and blood's goodness and accomplishments, but in life there are not so many one might take into their heart as 'one of their own' kids...but I have done this for my son in laws Will and Jim, in different, but just as important, ways.

It was long past due to let them each know how important they are to the well being and happiness and goodness of our family, and to let you know I am proud of them, and just have to brag on them too.

So this is the day for Jim to be honored by us here in Oregon, and how grateful and appreciative we are to be able to call him 'our oldest son'. We love him more than he will ever know, but as time goes on, I think he is coming to realize that fact himself.

Thank you Jim, from the bottom of my soul, and thank you God for sending him to my office one day when he was feeling kind of low...he was exactly what that office needed...my daughter needed...and her family needed.

God is Good...All the time, and you are one very big Blessing to us....and one more thing...

Happy Birthday to one of the youngest thinking 'bucks' I know and like me, you'll never get old because of it! Live to Ride and Ride to Live guarantees a 'young mind' forever, I think...even if the back does creak, a little "Aleve" and life is good again. lol

I know that just reading this tribute, will bring a tear to his eye (cause it will touch his heart)...and then he will smile when I say one last 'inside' thing about him here...before I let you go...

He's a 'giver'.

Hugs and Love always....Mom