WATER, WATER EVERYWHERE....and NOT A DROP to DRINK!

A lot of people didn't believe us when

we said we were like Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor of that funny old show "GREEN ACRES"...

...since we know so little about real 'country life', but our life this past week has been pretty overwhelmingly funny as we 'learnt alot' the hard way, NATURALLY.

SO, Here's our signs...

LESSON ONE - About
HOME GROWN WATER!


We noticed that we didn't hear the sound of the normal water 'overflow' falling into our front pond about a week ago, but never thought much more about it.

What had happened was that silt and maybe small rocks, or maybe even a salamander... had blocked the 'feed line' from moving any water from our gravity feed spring to our 1300 gallon water holding tank in the back of our home.

So life went on as usual for about three more days. We showered, ran the dishwasher, did laundry and Allen even hosed the pine needles off the porches...Faye, of course, forgot to turn the faucet off as she has done for several years now...and water ran for half the night until someone went to the bathroom and turned it off.

Jordan came over to help with some things, and took one of the Quads to try out the new trail we blazed the prior week. Allen napped, and Faye watched 'Dr. Phil' and I worked and hammered out my 'Blog' and sent emails...we lived our life as usual totally clueless as to how perilous our life had really become as we 'drained' the holding tank more and more with every turn of a faucet or flush of a toliet.

Following a long shower, with hot water pouring over sore muscles for a long while...the shower started sputtering and howling...and soon, the toliet howled trying to pull water...but not getting any.

We were OUT OF WATER! We knew nothing about the system...so Allen went to check the holding tank for the first time since we lived here, and was horrified to see it was empty! We didn't know the cause at that time...so we called the former owner. The origination of our water is a good quarter of a mile away...and it was dark and rainy and muddy already...so Allen and Paul (our field hand) took the Quads as Jeff (the former owner) directed by phone and went to the source...after Paul got my Quad stuck in the mud over an embankment...and Allen got a rope and hauled him out with his Quad...they journeyed on to find an abundance of water coming into the upper cistern from our spring.

So, we at least knew that there was plenty of water, if we could just figure out how to get it here, from there. The next day was a huge storm and that was not a good time to really see if there might be a break in the 1/4 mile underground pipes..since even if water was pouring to the surface, we couldn't have determined if it had come from below or from above at that time.

The next day the journey began with Jeff's directions, "Well, you go down to shop and then to the apple tree and walk about 16 paces until you see a rock...then you dig a couple of feet. OK...so once they got there...with all the leaves off the trees...they couldn't tell apple from alder and were they supposed to go left or right, and by the way...there were lots of rocks!

So, back on the phone...and so it went all day until Jeff (the former owner) agreed to come over the following morning to show Allen where things were, and what they did.

Bright and early, the two walked up the West mountain...in the rain...and mud, and Allen returned looking like an industrial mop for his first change of clothes and no nap that day. Jeff went on with his day telling Allen to call if he needed him.

Allen followed one section of line, and then the next...and the next...and dug a few holes that resulted in nothing...cause it was the 'wrong rock' but a nearby rock turned out to be the right one when he dug there and found the line. At each section the water flow was fine.

Finally, it got honed down to about a 400 foot section, so Allen flushed the line the best he could, then hiked back to the house to check the tank...and success....a small drizzel was finally entering the tank. Jeff came by and said that the 'drizzel' was about the best we could expect, and the tank should be filled again...in THREE DAYS!

LESSON TWO - Firewood Error

There's nothing like the warmth and smell of a log burning on a fire during a rainy day...so we've been burning about a log a day which seems to keep the house warm and cozy for about 24 hours. Ahhhh, the 'Country Life', but it seemed the process was 'poorly organized to me'.

The Wood Burning Stove is near the front door, but the former owners were cutting wood on the back porch so it is all scarred up from doing that...and this big, ugly rusty metal barrel holds wood for cutting. Even more silly is that the rest of the wood is located in a wood shed up a hill, and then there is more near the Goats Condo. What sense did all of that make, I thought so went about giving Allen advice in an area I know NOTHING about...except how to make it all prettier.

So, as suggested, Allen puts a BIG STACK of wood on the front porch near the front door so it doesn't have to be dragged through the back door, potentially dropping chips on the floor in between. Check, and just when the WATER WAS GONE...he was in the process of getting all the rest of it in ONE PLACE.

The big storm hit and I had forgotten that it can 'rain sideways' in Oregon, and the wind is usually coming from the South to North...sooooo, I asked Allen to start a fire one night and he started a fire and it went out, so he did it again, and it went out again. Just when I was wondering if he was braindead...it took and we were warm and cozy. Beautiful!

The next night, I asked him why he hadn't started a fire yet as I was getting a little chilly and he said, "I can't...all the Wood is soaked." Well, it was soaked all right, so we had to turn on the electric heat...which doesn't smell anything...and I 'figgered' out that it was best that the wood be kept on the back porch protected from the rain....and about all those places it is also stacked?

The high barn is the green/wet wood cut for NEXT SEASON (it has to be dry to burn well...duh), the wood near the Goat Pen is for THIS SEASON...(good idea to separate them huh...therefore it won't be like playing the "Will the fire start lottery")...and the wood in the ugly rusty barrel looking thing is kindling and ready to burn now wood...and that needs to be especially dry...yathink?

So...we'll be heating with the electric heat, until the wood is moved to the NORTH SIDE where it was to start with before I was being so 'helpful'...and no more fires until it has had a chance to DRY after that. Guess them 'locals' have a lot better 'figgerin' on this country stuff than we gave 'em credit for.

WATER AND FREE HEAT ARE DAMNED GOOD THINGS TO HAVE IN A COUNTRY HOME.

These jolly 'realizations' got me to thinking, and then relaying those thoughts on to a sopping wet mop again, Allen, "You know, we are so totally NOT PREPARED for anything that might go wrong out here...so we need to go to Salem tomorrow and get some emergency things together."

Ignorance hasn't been feeling very 'blissful' lately...so better to 'HAVE AND NOT NEED, THAN NEED AND NOT HAVE"...as them old Nebraska Farmer 'Roach's' used to say...

So, we bought a 5500 watt generator...a log splitter...and a brush cutter within a few days...some camping lamps, maglights, and even some appropriate rain gear. We have a couple of 7 or 8 gallon water jugs with spouts on them, and we're going to put real kerosene in the pretty kerosene lamps we have had around 'for looks'.

Things ya might need if all hell breaks loose, so ya won't be standing around with just a pitchfork in your hands.

But, I can't 'beat us up' too bad. Allen came up with a device today that hooks up to his compressor and the water line that feeds that 1300 gallon water tank. He blew that line at 150 pounds per minute on the git go, and then 80 for the remainder....then he checked if there was any improvement over the 'trickle' that 'was the best we could expect' and would take a mere 'three days' before the tank was full again.

Lemme tell ya, that water was rolling through that line like Sherman through Atlanta...and the tank started overflowing several hours ago. Faye and I were destined for the beach house if we had to go another night without water and a real shower...but Faye just came out of the shower fresh as a daisy....Allen checked the tank level, and it had more water and pressure than it had before she languished in there a spell. WOWZIES!

I made dinner AND RINSED THE DISHES before putting them in the dishwasher...and can't wait to get in the shower myself. As was said in Forest Gump...sometimes my husband is an F'N GENIUS...Forest...we done hit the motherlode of water flowing into that tank faster than ever before!

...and to show ya that these two melon heads 'learnt' some very valuable lessons on the way to that motherlode of wet, I guarantee that the Next time we don't hear that overflow...you'll see one big gut sticking in, and one big butt sticking out of that holding tank room real quick...and out will come Allen's special designed 'water line attachment blower/cleaner' even faster than a speeding bullet, and more powerful than a locomotive.

...and about that finding the water line pipes by looking for those special rocks about 15 paces from the tree, around the bend from a bush...14 yards from the lower gate, and west of the shed...then digging down six feet....and all that?

Well, those subtle 'landmarks' will soon become as noticeable as a semi truck carrying hazardous waste through Wyoming in no time at all when Allen goes to task on 'marking' em. I'm coming to appreciate some of that 'ole boys' "flamboyant" ways, since we're learning to live in the Country, and all.

ABOUT BATS

I've also learned not to leave a second story sliding door AND screendoor open at the same time...since a bat got in our house and swooped across the 24 foot ceiling about 15 times before he hung upside down from the big timber as I helplessly realized I didn't have a chance in hell of every catching him or killing him. I made the right decision by leaving the doors open and he eventually went out...but I kept expecting it to land in my hair or crap on my head any minute before he bid his adieu. Fortunately, my cousin Vickie advised me that 'bats' are good cause they eat hundreds of times their weight in insects everyday...and they love to eat some bad beetles that can swarm people's homes too....

FINE, but don't expect me to be an outdoor midnight marauder around here yet when the 'bats' are on patrol.

BEETLES

and, don't squish the black beetles because they are 'good beetles' as they eat the larve of slugs which are bad,

LLAMAS

AND, We may be getting a couple of llamas almost free pretty soon from a friend of Vickies...and these Llamas love to be petted and lead around and brushed....but they will also kick ass on any critter that comes around wanting to do harm to them or any livestock (like our goats)...and if you cut their wool...you cut it with scissors and you may get $200. for it. I can't imagine myself on a ladder trying to cut a Llamas hair for 200. but Allen and Vickie seem game...so I'll watch the process for them.

BEARS AND COUGARS

My jaw dropped when Jeff (former owner) mentioned that the upper east spring has lots of water but a BEAR chewed through the pipeline...and yeah, there are COUGARS around, but neither the bears or cougars come down this way TOO OFTEN....and all. Based on that little 'tidbit'...I'll be learning to shoot my new HANDGUN I haven't purchased yet...beginning this Christmas when former Federal Agent son, David comes up for vacation...and we'll be setting up a 'shooting range' right here on the property... and he'll be teaching Mama (and any other takers) how to plug one right between the eyes in a nano second like Annie Oakley while riding bareback can.

Then I'll sling that revolver or semi automatic 'bad boy' in a holster and just dare one of those brutes to stalk me as I walk or ride through the magical forest like little Red Riding Hood.

...and man, am I glad that Joey the pup is going to turn into Joey the magnificant 100 pound dog who loves to follow us anywhere we go on the property. A Yip today...but a DEEP BARK down the road. Maybe Joey needs a friend? Like a Great Dane maybe?

Maybe teach the LLAMAS to 'heel'?

So, this is the end of the 'Learn as you GOOF' show for now...and

Next we'll be putting the phone out on a high tree stump...

... or something like that, no doubt.

Love to all from Eddie and Eva at Green Acres.