CRUISING PAST 17 YEARS OF MARRIAGE...

Pearl Harbor Day, 1988.



When Allen and I married we didn't know each other very long or very well, we didn't know we were going to be married until the day before we married, we didn't tell our kids we got married until months later...

...and lot's of people said, "It will never last."

Well, it's not only 'lasted' but it's in a constant state of enrichment. We are 'best friends' and try to have the 'other guys best interests' at heart.


We don't have many 'don'ts', or 'can'ts in it...so we've been able to enjoy life as individuals as well as a 'couple'. We can 'agree to disagree' on some things (fewer all the time) and if we can afford it, either of us can have anything we want.

When Allen told his Dad that he married a 'Christian woman', his Dad said, "A Christian woman is the only woman worth a damn!"

I think the same thing applies to having a husband worth a damn. Anyone looking in at our marriage and lifestyle has to 'scratch their heads' in wonder, as it is quite unique (OK bizarre)and definitely not even remotely resembling the 'television models' we grew up believing those were the perfect families...like leave it to Beaver and the Donna Reed Show. O VEY!

What is important is that our lifestyle 'works for us' so we go together like 'peas and carrots' now, and since we are the only two in our marriage...we voted that it is what we think a great marriage should be...for us, and we won the vote. Maybe that is why we're so content today.

Even more important is that there is only one 'boss' in our marriage and that is the Good Lord. I promised God that I would not divorce that man He gave me unless I had Bibical grounds to do so...and Allen made the same promise, so here we are still holding hands while crossing the busy streets of life.

Funny thing about real 'commitment'...once you realize you're going to be stuck with this same person for the next 30 or 40 years of your life...it is best to figure out a way to really get along with each other which usually involves 'acceptance'. That alone makes the way smoother.

Accepting a 'mate' AS IS is also important because 'changing another person' to fit your vision of how they should be...is just impossible and a fruitless endeavor, I fear.

So, that is the long and short of it...and the real spice of a marriage is 'laughter'. We laugh at ourselves, each other, circumstances, the dogs, and daily life experiences all the time, and because we are honest with ourselves about ourselves...we are honest with each other.

In our 17 years together, I think Allen has called me a 'bad name' twice...and once it was the "B" word because I was behaving like a "B" person, and the second time was in response to me calling him an "A-hole" and he said I was an "A-hole" too...and with that we started laughing at us two "A-holes" trying to pin the label on the other guy, and only having it stick to us. Crazy!

So, at nearly 60 years old, and after 17 years of marriage...there is still something kind of exciting and sexy about riding behind my husband on the Harley smelling that leather and feeling the wind...and with my honey...I'll just keep riding "B" anytime...and anywhere he wants to go as long as I have the strength to climb on the bike, and he has the strength to keep it on two wheels. When that is over, we'll have to get some super power wheel chairs and race around the house once in awhile I think....just to keep it spicy.

Allen really 'laid down the law' as the head of our household seventeen years ago as we were heading toward the Clark County Courthouse for our Marriage License.

He said, "Woman, I am going to tell you how this marriage is going to work and you are going to do what I say."

I looked at him with one raised eyebrow and replied, "...and that would be?"

He said, "Now listen carefully as I don't want to have to repeat this again."

Then I responded, "Oh, I am listening VERY INTENTLY now, please tell me the rules."

Now with his brow furrowed, and his steely blue eyes piercing my soul, he laid it out for me.

"Woman, you are going to tell me what to do, and I am going to do it."

I've never broken that 'law' in 17 years, and it is good to know that promise is faithfully kept too.

"I got you Babe"... Happy Anniversary!