DECORATING THE HOUSE...WORKING OUTSIDE AND SHOPPING WITH FAYE...OH MY!

Allen flew out yesterday to go to Huntington Beach to get Joey and his 'stuff' and take it to Idaho. Will was in Santa Rosa working and met them in Visalia this morning....to help load and then all go together to Idaho and then Allen and Will can come home to finish getting ready for company...and to save my 'sanity'. Let me explain.
Faye offered to go along yesterday to take Allen to the airport and then to go shopping with me at Costco, (I had eliminated the other stops the minute I decided to take her with us) and it was with mixed feelings... I welcomed her along. I had to go to Costco to get some big meat items for our company coming for Christmas vacation, and to pick up a 'few more things' from Santa...and find some boots for Pat.

That meant that I wouldn't be worried about her 'getting herself into trouble' during the time I was gone, but it also meant I had to wrestle the walker, her and that damned purse of hers (that is never opened for anything but always has to be drug along)... while trying to look at things and shop for lots of food items we need...well, she hasn't been 'shopping' in a while, so most of the "shopping" ended up being to make sure that "she" got each and everything she started 'peeping' about from the minute we arrived until we left...and during the whole trip.

Anyone who goes to Costco knows how it is laid out, so when you are in the area where things like office supplies and camping equipment is located, is quite a ways away from the "Raisin bran" and cereal...but we no sooner entered the store when it started.

Of coursed to add to the mix, it is crowded in Costco this time of year, and Aunt Faye is not real steady on her feet and she is very, very slow...so as we crawled along at a snails pace, me pushing the cart and her with her walker...she never stopped 'asking' about the things she wanted to get. I guess she thought I couldn't read the long list of items we went over only that morning together!

I quickly began to feel like I was with one of the little grand kids 'begging' for everything...but at least with the little kids whatever they are begging for is 'in sight'.

With Faye, it is like being 'bugged' about everything that is NOT IN SIGHT...but clear across the store!

With Faye, you get this. "We need to get some raisin bran, we're out of it."

I reply, "Yes, I know, it is here on our list of things to get and when we get to that section in the store, I will get it, OK?"
"Well, we don't want to forget the Raisin bran, as that is one of Allen's favorite cereals, and I like it too."

"We won't forget the Raisin Bran Faye, and I promise we will get everything on our list, right now I am looking for the Shepherd's Boots that Allen asked me to buy for Pat, Ok?"

"What kind of boots are those?", she asks.

"Well, they are kind of like my black UGGS boots, but they are a lot cheaper than UGGS. I got Allen a pair to see if he would like the Shepherds boots before I spend the money that real UGGS cost, so he wanted us to get Pat a pair for Christmas because it gets so cold in the shop."

"Are those boots by the Raisin bran?" she asks.

"I don't know," I answer, "because I haven't found where the boots are are yet, or even if they still have them. We'll get the Raisin Bran when we get to the FOOD SECTION of the store, and we are not there yet."

A few times I just told her to 'save her strength' and sit in her walker chair while I went to search for something and that I would be back shortly, (by the way...Costco was out of 'the boots' I wanted...after much searching!)

I soon discovered that 'aunt Faye' is as bad as our dogs are about 'staying'!

If I was not back within 3 minutes to let her know that I realized she was there waiting, but I needed to still find something else so could she wait a little longer... she would get up and start walking around to try 'finding me'...so teaching her to 'stay' for very long was going to be OUT, much to my dismay! It caused a lot of extra steps to say the least to keep running back to where I had 'parked her' so that she wouldn't take off.

After a few times of having to go search for her because she didn't stay where I asked her to...and finding her with that sort of 'deer in the headlights' confused look on her face....I realized how really miserable this whole adventure was going to be...but that was an 'optimistic' view.

"Why didn't you stay and rest where you were?" I asked.

"Well, I wanted to find out what you were looking at?" she answered.

I gave up on almost all the stuff I had PLANNED on looking for or at for Christmas presents after that, so we SLOWLY EDGED our way to the FOOD DEPARTMENT which was all that Aunt Faye cared about. She almost flipped out to see the price of meat these days as she hasn't bought groceries in about two years now, and things like that are a lot higher than they were when she 'shopped'.

Even grocery shopping with Faye a year ago meant FOUR HOURS in the grocery store as she examined every word on a can of soup and compared every can with the other to get the best price...(while anyone with her stood by and developed a sort of 'tic' as they slowly go crazy waiting for her to make her final selection...).

Just before the last 'grocery shopping adventure' with Faye, I can remember parking her in the fresh vegetable section to feel and fondle every single melon or apple or banana...deciding which one was the best....while I tore around the store getting everything else on the list...but there was no way to do this in Costco.

I bought a couple of pot roasts, a pork roast, a big ham, pork chops, steaks, chicken and lean hamburger, and she frowned and complained as each one went into the cart.

"Those prices are ridiculous...we need to eat less meat" she exclaimed with a frowny face. It isn't like Faye is paying for any of the groceries...but you would think they were robbing her of her last dollar by the way she carried on. It would have been embarrassing except that people seemed to note her age, and a lot of them were giving me a sympathetic look as they passed by.

"We DO eat less meat Faye, a lot of the time we have soup and salad for dinner or sandwiches, remember?" I explained. She began acting like I was just 'squandering money on food that I should be saving for a rainy day...' and that wasn't sitting too well with me either.

Allen and I like to prepare most of the meals, and have for a long time, because cleaning up the droppings on the floor or in the opened drawers or all over the counters is more work than just cooking ourselves...but sometimes when she wants to make 'beans' or roasts, we let her cook as 'cooking' was the one thing she could do for the longest time, and it helps her feel like she is contributing....

...but no more really....only occasionally now is she allowed to really cook, and one of us has to be there to keep the house from being burnt down. So with Allen and I cooking, we keep it simple for the most part, and we're both too fat so we try to cut back on the big evening meals for that reason too.

So, 'wasting money' on good food is something Allen and I have been doing all along...but Faye isn't with us when we shop (and may never be again now that I think of it).

She agreed that we had meals without meat now, but was still shaking her head in disbelief of the 'highway robbers' as we continued on to other things...as I reminded her that we have a lot of people coming for the holidays, and for the most part, it is easier on all of us (especially those with little kids) if most of our meals are at home prepared instead of eating out.

She asked about getting 'cookies' so we got them, and the 'sweet rolls' we always bring from Costco as she loves them, then she wanted some Shortening and there is no way in hell I was going to buy that... as I can see a 'fire' starting with just the thought of Faye loose with a big can of shortening to help her 'fry up something' when you're not looking...so I reminded her that we use 'Pam.' now. lol

No matter what section we were in, she was always way ahead of me and on to the next thing we needed and was worried I would forget to buy...we bought the bananas and grapes, so she was talking about her 'soy milk', when we got the soy milk, she was worried about getting sugar...

....I don't like being 'pushed or rushed' in the best of conditions...but she was starting to drive me 'crazy' after awhile, so I starting pushing myself even harder to get done with the whole thing before I brained her or said something mean...like SHUT UP (at the top of my lungs!). I am very patient with Aunt Faye, but my patience was wearing thin and I could feel myself becoming more 'annoyed' with each remark she made.

We also had to get her 'present' for 'the basket game' which was $150.00... and is a "whole story" in itself.... since she is so frugal most of the time, but by getting a 'basket present' she WANTS FOR HERSELF...we were finally able to get that job done. ha ha

She had a lot of personal pharmacy stuff on the LIST including the pull up diapers I made sure were on the list, as she tries to get out of wearing them all the time...and with disasterous results all the time...so by the time we were done with HER WISHES, she had about $300. of her PERSONAL stuff in the cart....out of about $800. total cost for ALL of the items....including the $200. worth of meat I splurged on!

As I was watching out for her in her walker, (trying to keep other people from running her down and trying to keep her from standing in the middle of the asile picking her nose and staring into space)....and still navigating and shoving a heavy and overflowing cart through traffic...she smiled sweetly at me as she called my name causing me to pause, "Linda," she said,

"I want to give you some money to help with the groceries this time." she offered.
"So, I think I will write you a check for $250.00...for all of my stuff and to help with the groceries." she added.

I calculated the numbers in my mind for about 10 nano-seconds and realized that I would be paying for $50.00 worth of HER STUFF...much less, her actually helping pay for some of the groceries. "Fuzzy math too", I thought to myself amused, but said, "OK, that would be nice, thanks."

We finally get everything she wants, half the stuff we needed, and move to the check out stand where she announces she has to go to the bathroom.

I ask the checker if I can leave my piled high and overflowing cart there for a few minutes... while I take aunt Faye to the restroom.... so the checker points to an area where I can 'park the cart' (since I can't take it into the restroom)... until we get back to the check out counter and proceed with our purchase. So we inch toward the restroom which is a pretty good hike even when you're not with the ancient one.

Now it was 'dilly dally time' with Faye, and a full FIFTEEN MINUTES until we returned to retrieve my cart to check out and head home (me thinking, Thank God it's almost over while she is still alive). Faye was very fatigued by then, so I knew I had to get her into the car and on down the road as soon as possible.

Even though she is about to fall over, she would never admit it in a million years...much like never being able to admit she was wrong about anything...and unless there is chocolate smeared all over her face, she never gorges on chocolate candy either.. (A giant box of Whitman's Sampler disappeared into her room a week ago...an empty Whitman's Sampler box appeared in the garbage can four days later, ....but if you ask Faye, she really doesn't like sweets that much!

I asked Faye to sit in her walker chair to rest by the check out counter as I started putting things up for the cashier to start ringing through....and she complies without an argument so I knew she is fading fast now for the day.

Suddenly, I start seeing things in my cart... I didn't buy! A 'stamps' box and a "Sees Candy" box and I ask Faye if she put them in the cart? "NO, I didn't put anything in the cart," she replies. I wonder if it is true or not...but then it gets worse...

I notice that ALL of the meat I carefully selected was missing! Here I had a cashier ringing through a cart full of stuff.... I never bought, and things MISSING that I did buy!

I tell the cashier about my problem and he says, "Oh...no one told me that cart belonged to anyone so we just thought it was left there by someone so we used it as a place to put things people ended up not wanting when they get to the checkstand.

"I bought a lot of meat and it is all gone!?" I exclaimed, and he responded,

"We saw the meat there and since it was left there for a LONG TIME, we had ALL the perishables PUT BACK! I'm sorry." Faye is trying to figure out what is going on, but can't hear what is going on, so I try to give her the 'shortcut paper' as I am thinking about what to do now with this added wrinkle!

I look at 'fading glory' Faye, then back toward the meat section at the total opposite end of the store, and I just know my eyes did another big roll! I could forget about the 50 pound bag of dog food that is no longer in my cart that I notice...but I have GOT to at least have the meat...I determined.

The checker offers to have someone come with me to get the meat...as he is checking things I did buy through...so I haul ass back to the meat department with the helper in tow, grab the meat as fast as possible, and run back up to the front where Faye is now out of her chair and trying to follow me AGAIN!

"I didn't know where you went!" she says like a little kid about to be sent to time out. I must have had a look of exaperation in my face as I barely arrived back in time to catch her from 'wandering off'! I had explained to her what had happened (due to our LONG VIST to the restroom), but she didn't get it all...and never made the connection that it was HER FAULT our CART no longer CONTAINED our STUFF!

As the checker added up the meat tab, for the grand finale...I was SO READY to leave the store I actually demanded that they find someone to help me load everything into the car so I could tend to just Faye and no 'stuff'!

Of course as we get to the car, Faye wants to observe the guy loading the stuff into the car...and give her ideas on how it should be done....but I nix that in the bud, and get her in the car and out of the cold immediately! She's now worried about where we will put her 'walker'! ? I don't want to say where I want to put the walker at that point, but it does fit into the car all right.

Once finally home, after listening to the same stories I have heard a million times trying to appear interested, or telling me something new I just told her yesterday, and without any music playing (Faye gets very resentful if music is on instead of listening to Faye while we drive anywhere... as I am a captive audience then)... I started to unload everything until Paul showed up to help.

That's when I found a lot of things 'missing', as I was too stressed at the store by the time we were checking out to see "what else" besides the meat and dog food was actually missing...so now I realized there will need to be another trip back to Costco to get those things I don't have now...and obviously, it will not be with Aunt Faye.

My feet killing me, my arms sore and my lips blue...I finally get the last things in and put away, and Faye says,

"Do you know where the grapes are?"

Yep, the grapes got put back and we have no grapes" I responded...but I did want to shove a banana in her mouth about that time!

I didn't.

THEN THERE ARE THE OTHER THINGS GOING ON...

Allen is heading toward Idaho now with Joey and Will (as I type) to drop off the 'stuff' Joey had in Huntington Beach during college, and the furniture he and Nicole got from Jim and Lindsay in Visalia, and some things he had at his Mom's in Hanford. Once that is done, Allen will be coming back to work some more (along with Will) on trying to get more 'outside work' done before everyone starts arriving for Christmas. They are all under such pressure to get the move for Joe overwith and back to the ranch, they didn't even spend one night in Visalia to see the whole family. (I, for one, am very grateful they are pushing themselves to make this a speedy trip!)

In the meantime, I am working on getting tons of things wrapped, everything paid in advance on bills, and Christmas decorations up, a couple of Loans, some escrows, taxes and some back paperwork projects done before the 21st of December....and get my upstairs office, bedroom and bathroom finished (just got the medicine cabinet hung a few days ago)...and hopefully before everyone comes for vacation.

Of course, without Allen here...aunt Faye has to think she can 'do something' big..., so early this morning (she usually sleeps until about noon...but today she gets up at 7 am)...she decides to clean out the wood burning stove (which Allen does every single time, and did before he left).

She found a five gallon bucket she 'thought' was metal...except it was plastic....and put the ashes in it so of course the whole bottom melted. (I am still sleeping at this point). So she picks up the bucket and soon finds all the ashes on the floor since the bottom of the bucket was melted through!

OOPS...guess the embers were still hot from the fire going all last night....so she goes and gets a roasting pan and shovels all the ashes and embers into that SHE CAN SEE...and tries to hide her error. I get up and go downstairs about 11 am as usual...to make coffee and immediately notice a big roasting pan full of ashes and the burnt bucket sitting by the wood burning stove!

She couldn't 'hide' her boo boo because she couldn't LIFT THE ROASTING PAN!

I'm rolling my eyes again because her bed isn't made yet (which she can do...), but all over the kitchen and living room is evidence of BOO BOOS she's made trying to do things SHE CAN'T DO!

I tell her to stop trying to do the things Allen does...and she tells me that she just wants to help and do her share.

As I am cleaning up broken glass, and ashes and raisin bran from all over the floor...I remind her that HER JOB is to be careful NOT TO GET HURT as IF SHE GETS HURT...I can't lift her or lug her around and neither can Allen. At nearly 95 years old...just being careful is plenty for anyone to do.

Yesterday I asked her to please not empty the dishwasher anymore as she can't see if the dishes are clean or dirty so she puts dirty dishes away and it is 'gross' to pull a spoon out of the drawer with dried egg on it...or a glass with dried milk on it..etc. Then I get compelled to take out all the dishes from the whole cabinet and wash them because I am too grossed out not to...nd believe that the germs from the old dirty dishes are all over the clean ones...so there is twice or three times as much work involved to clean up after the 'helper' than if she just wouldn't help at all!

There was no working upstairs at all today...as I was doing what Allen does all the time, which is following Faye around and cleaning up after her (and I thought he was exaggerating...) then I had the 'Boys' to tend to as well. I spent a good two hours talking to, and listening to, Fayes old stories today when I told her that I had to go take care of the dogs and give them some attention and feed them lunch, got up and headed for the back door...but she kept talking even as I walked out of the door...and was still talking when I cam back the door... ten or fifteen minutes later.

Joey and Lucky (our puppies) must have gotten bored this morning without Allen being around to entertain them...as they sure were busy. Taking the seats off the chairs and dragging them into the yard to lay on a pound of dog poo...then they dragged their 'blanket' into the mud by the 'Secret Garden' as well....plus they got some firewood and drug that all over the lawn area, and found some styrafoam to tear into a million little pieces too.

Allen told me that if they don't get a lot of exercise or if he ignores them too much, then they tend to 'get into trouble' and I wasn't quite sure of what he meant by that...but I have a clear picture of that now. All of their toys were drug into the gravel, and they had done a little digging too, and both of the plant holders were turned over, and there was just a general mess everywhere I looked. *sigh.

After I cleaned up the stuff I had to clean (poop off the chair pads), the blanket from the muddy area...left the styrafoam, and took them for a walk up to the barn and back (it was about 35 degrees today), hugged and petted them, gave them a few treats...I heard my name being 'hollered' from inside the house where Faye had messed up the television again and needed me to get the mess straightened out again.

I didn't bring the goats to their condo because I knew Jordan would be home from school to do that...but she decided to go swimming in Newport with a friend...so the poor goats ended up being put in their condo at dark thirty when Paul got home from work. Paul is the hired hand who helps us with stuff around here when he isn't working or sick....so he did a few things tonight like dump the ashes in the burn barrel, bring in more firewood, and carry some stuff upstairs for me that was too heavy for me to carry myself.

Tomorrow he will be getting his wisdom teeth pulled so can't help at all most likely as he is a true 'drama king' and will most likely be 'dying' by then, and Saturday he works all day...and has a Christmas party to attend Saturday night....so whatever needs to be done before Allen comes home, I'll have to figure out for myself. Jordan will not be here tomorrow either as she has to help Wendy get ready for a 'home party' thing Wendy is doing Saturday afternoon.

Hopefully, Will and Allen will be home by Sunday...and I can return to my normal way of life here on the ranch...and hopefully, Faye will not try any more 'heroics' in the meantime.

In spite of all the 'new duties' I found myself involved in since Allen left...I did manage to get some more things wrapped...and I am going to 'entertain Faye' tonight to keep her awake in her chair so she will 'sleep in' longer tomorrow and give me a head start on the day trying to get as much done as I can before the family starts coming in for the Holiday as I don't want to miss spending time with them having fun while they are here.

...and did I mention, I sure miss Allen!

I MISS HIM MORE THAN I EVER HAVE BEFORE! I wonder why? lol