It has long been a family 'tradition' on Thanksgiving to hold hands for the opening prayer to the Good Lord, first Thanking him for the abundance of Blessings we have received, then at some point, we go around the table with each person saying what they are most 'thankful for' in their lives....Today, was no exception.
As each one spoke, it was easy to see the difference between the younger members and the older members. The younger ones thought in the present, while the older the member, the more expanded the 'gratitude' became...And the more personal. I've been so personally 'blessed' I could have spent an hour at least reciting only the highlights of how Good God has been to me...And mine. ...But I will share some highlights of my own 'Thankfulness' in the longer version here.
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First I am Thankful for my husband of almost eighteen years (Dec, 7th) and for his being there with me and for me, encouraging me and allowing me the freedom to fly as he spent many days alone because of it. He's never gotten recognition or credit for much, as the limelight has usually fallen my way...or upon my children for our good works, but I know how much he has meant in our families success and in our lives personally...both long term and day to day.
Allen gave us the courage to face our dysfunctional demons honestly and to conquer them with the spirit of the good Lord to Guide us along the way. He gave us a philosophy of being honest and straightforward toward others by being true to ourselves and our convictions. He and the Good Lord helped us learn that there are no 'perfect' people, and in fact...we are all just 'ants on a beach ball' no matter how self important we occasionally believe we are! lol
That alone was a big relief, since it wasn't our job to 'judge people' anymore! Although their 'behavior' was still fair game to observe and learn from, and point out when necessary. Of course, we had to learn to keep our own side of the street a little 'cleaner' in the process in order to speak. ha!
We learned to put resentment, and revenge away as 'workable tools' toward any solution in relationships, and as needed survival 'companions' in our lives...and instead take up doing what we believe is 'the right thing to do', whether we prosper from it or not....or whether someone hurts us for it..or not.
To Thine Own Self Be True ...is a slogan that gains more and more meaning over time...as it is human nature to lie to ourselves first, and then others, about our part of any conflict we encounter.
We didn't like him saying things like "Trying is Lying" which means that you either do something or you don't...which took away our excuses for not meeting the potential we are capable of and I can't remember any close family member say,
"I'll Try to....." in years!
We didn't like him saying, "This is Mine." Although it taught us the meaning of 'boundaries', mental, spiritual, financial, sexual, and physical...and that we each have the right to say 'no' to any another person who would seek to invade them without our permission and without feeling guilty about it.
In fact...we thought it was crazy to even consider giving up "Guilt and Blame' as good manipulation tools to get what we wanted or needed from others....as well!
WE learned that being 'Holy' was not impossible and only saved for a special few who personally walked with God or were Saints, as we had believed; Allen taught us it simply means living life in a 'wholesome way'....instead of in a destructive way.
He taught us that we needed to learn to be 'whole' ourselves, as if we seek someone else to 'make us better, or fix us, or be responsible for us'...we will always live in bitter disappointment. Who could ever forget that saying....
"Want a Disappointment????"...................."Have an Expectation"!
.....and how about "Who's not doing it YOUR WAY.... LINDA?"
We didn't like him taking away all of our dysfunctional broken 'coping mechanisms' and replacing them with more functional tools and values that have only served to enrich us without measure, especially when Allen seemed to have more 'flaws' than we thought we ever did!
We didn't like it at all...at the time....and sometimes wanted to 'shoot the messenger' but for all of us...the message stuck...and LIVING LIFE became so much easier and more free spirited for all of us didn't it?
It is hard to imagine where we would all be, and what we would all be like today, had we not had that very vocal and steadfast influence come into our lives and 'stick'...and most of all, he gave us 'acceptance' of others who may not meet the mark as well as we have in many areas, but who are trying to do the best they can with what they have to work with as human beings...
...which helped us stop competing with or comparing ourselves to others...which is always a losing game. Instead we learned to compare ourselves, with ourselves, by simply noticing our behavior and seeing
how much we really liked to own and wear it' ?
I look at the hundreds of lives that have been 'changed' because of him, and I know he has many jewels in his crown coming...because he has not had much gratitude and thanks for it here on earth, that is for certain.
None of us need booze, or pills, or any form of mood or mind altering drugs...legal or illegal, to numb feelings or give us courage, and we know how to meet problems head on...and we are all the better for the knowledge Allen gave in many more ways as well. That 'ability to persevere' under less than perfect circumstances without running for the medicine or liquor cabinet to cope, is such a rare blessing, especially in these days of such turmoil and chaos and needing an 'easy fix' for everything that causes discomfort, unhappiness, inconvenience or retrospect.
Do we practice all of these things we've learned all the time, Of COURSE NOT!
We're too close to the earth for that...but we can't BLAME anyone but ourselves for most of our difficulty in life, either.
Selfishness and self-centeredness, we thinks,
is the root of all our troubles, and maybe even the troubles of the world.
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I am Thankful that Aunt Faye can spend another Christmas with us, (as she will be 95 in January), because when she goes home to the Good Lord, a 'generation' of our family's 'Salt of the Earth' and the
"Greatest Generation' accomplishments will go with her.
Her determination to do all she can for 'herself' is an inspiration for any sniveler, and she has always had 'the best interests' of everyone in the family at heart. She's passed down good 'common sense' and a 'practicality' that all family members 'after her' have benefited from in one way or another.
She has been my personal 'rock' all of my life, the 'Mom' Allen never had, the 'Gramma my kids didn't get in the natural blood line', and a symbol of what is 'good and decent' about insisting on being 'self sufficient through our own efforts', and 'not leaning on someone else to provide us with our own happiness'.
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Of course I am so freaking proud and thankful for my now grown children it's pathetic, but I don't care, as each of them is already so successful in different arenas...but more important than that...ALL FOUR OF THEM have never been in real trouble, nor caused me the excrutiating kind of pain so many parents endure when their children stray too far into the darkness, that is another gift from them and God that could never be adequately 'repaid'.
I am thankful that each one is willing to do good for others 'outside' themselves...and that they have given the 'gift of their time' for so many worthy causes and for so many needy people. Of course, both of my daughters (Wendy and Lindsay) 'shine' brightly in the arena of Community Service.
My sons though, have demonstrated by their own commitment to serving others as well, and they have an amazing ability to look out for others...and do just that.
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David found his service to humanity in the field of Law Enforcement; a commitment to protect and serve doesn't come with great pay or cushy hours...and there is always a 'fine line' between 'force' and 'excessive force' when one lays their life on the line every day. Somehow, David knows the difference as
he has sacrificed much 'of himself' for a long time.
Most important is that he gave up his own 'innocence' for the sake of others as he see's and experiences the worst examples humanity has to offer,
and has for many, many years now. That takes a type of True Grit
found only in those with the Hearts of Lions, I believe.
Lot's of people don't send Christmas Cards to Law Enforcement personnel...but without them...many families who get to retain their pollyanna 'innocence' would be victimized and violated on a daily basis by their own neighbors... and by predators who only know how to 'take' in life. David held the keys to Prison for seven years, locked in with the worst of the worst in Corcoran Prison to protect 'us' from 'them'.
It was a great day when he was one of the first chosen to enter the Federal Air Marshal Service following 9/11...but as a devoted father, he rarely saw his growing daughter during that time and now begins at the bottom again by attending the "Police Academy' at 40 years old, and moving to the local level of
Law Enforcement, even with a dramatic drop in pay.
He did it to personally and 'hands on" grow his only child day to day so she will remember her experiences with her 'Dad', and the many things her 'Dad' taught her. He gave up the big paycheck, awesome benefits, excitement of counter terrorism top secret stuff, limelight and the respect his position offered him,
for the good of his child....
and for that, I am even more proud, and thankful.
There is no one in this world I would rather 'have my back', than my son, David and Allen feels the same way.
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Joey will be a tremendous asset to any community as a 'teacher'. As he graduates from college next month...by holding the course over many long years of educational excellence...he see's many more open doors to chose from now.
He leans toward the humanities or philosophy now, but his 'solid' English Major prepared him for many things...but he has been spreading the gospel and the word of God to his friends, and hundreds young people for many years through
his music ministry and his 'punk band Hippocampus'.
....and through traveling to hundreds of churches all summer, riding buses and sleeping in peoples homes all over the United States. and abroad in Poland as a Musician for the "Celebrant Singers' Touring Team. He even had to raise $3,000. himself at just 15 year old in order to participate in the ministry and to pay his own way...which of course was as a 'volunteer'.
Joey has been the most 'devoted' student of the Bible of all our children, and over the 'longest period of time'; searching God's word for truth, and for the most part...
and he has lived it better than most.
I know that wherever he serves humanity, he will "make a difference" in many lives. It is not the 'learning the Word' that counts so much as being able to 'apply it' to our own lives and just live it the best we can as fatally flawed human beings.
Everyone knows how many of Joey's school chums turned 'left', but the 'God in him' let him walk 'right' with them through all their stuff and growing years, keeping himself as a trusted friend, but not joining them in self destructive behavior. Joey has the 'courage of his convictions' far stonger than
I ever dreamed of being able to keep myself.
Joey's 'waited' three years for his wedding day coming up December 30th to begin living as man and wife with his Bride, Nicole. In this day and age, and with all the opportunity they have had, many would find it hard to believe that a
'promise made to God' many years ago by two young people
to save sex for their wedding day...has been kept.
I believe He and Nicole will keep their wedding vows as well...which will save them and their children, much pain and grief. He has a powerful Ministry for young people ahead, and with music and a crazy sense of humor...he has tools that can move mountains.
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Wendy and William have always been the first to suit up and show up when we, or anyone else, called in desperate circumstances, and we know we can rely on them when the roof caves in...which in real life, it does occasionally.
Wendy to heal us from the nail and debris wounds we've gotten ourselves into, and William to fix the roof.
I always have a sense of their particular dedication to 'duty' toward family...and sometimes they try too hard and deny themselves the fruits of their own labor such as enjoying life to the fullest, playing and seeking out new adventures and experiences...regardless of what they believe they must do instead,
to protect their own children from all hurts and dangers in life.
Wendy and William are our only children who live nearby now,
so they are the one's I usually talk about on a day to day basis.
You only need scroll down the pages, then click on
different archives from past months, and more will
be revealed about these two who we are so Appreciative of.
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Jim and Lindsay have taken the helm of a ship that was built over many years with lots of blood, sweat and tears...and though in the beginning it appeared the ship was going to get too many leaks to continue on, they navigated through storms and high winds, and at the same time, replaced most of the rotting
boards and barnacled to keep her from foundering.
Now they sail her as experts..in their own way and on their own terms, but still seek the old 'light house' when they are in unknown waters...and for this, they have learned wisdom. I rely on them every single day to help sustain us here in Oregon, and they have responded with honor, and honesty...a combination in business that assures a new and even greater horizon in their own futures,
than one I could ever have hoped for myself when she first opened her doors.
ninety per cent of business fail in their first two years, and ninety five per cent of ongoing, successful business fail when passed to the next generation. God has Blessed these Companies, and all of us, with greater prosperity that 95 per cent of the people in the United States enjoy today regardless of their educational level or job experiences.
A small twist of fate, or any change in circumstances way back when...would have made it all impossible for us today. All of my children were exposed to my business, but only Lindsay grasped it, and loved it.
Today, at 25 years old...Allen, Faye and I are surely Blessed that
Lindsay was the one child of four who 'loved math'.
When she married Jim, a man that 'cried in sad movies' nearly as much as I did...I knew he had a soft heart, and to 'always have other's best interests at heart' when helping them make decisions about their greatest lifetime investments...you either have 'it' or you 'don't', and that makes all the difference
'to them, in the world'.
and ultimately, in the ongoing success of a family owned business.
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...and of course, I thank God and My Kids most for my Grandchildren,
Greg, Tom, Jon, Jordan, Ashleigh, Sierra, Emily, Ean and Benjamin!
These can take a whole Blog invidually...and you can learn about them more if you want to search around some.
These are the 'Greatest Joys' of our Lives.
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We also appreciate our extended family who have helped so much with Aunt Faye so we could get away for business or pleasure, like Aunt Opal and Vickie and Wayne, and Bill Farley, who have given us counsel about more things than we can mention here, and even for helping us on our first investment
so we had a home base to begin with here in Oregon, as Wayne did.
....and of course the bigger family Nationwide who always offer a 'hot and a cot' more than we could ever take them up on it.... are blessings in our lives too.
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Our new friends here in Oregon and our old friends in Visalia and in other parts of the country... and even friends moving from Visalia to Oregon... have taught us many new things we didn't fathom, know or understand, or who have given us an opportunity to help them reach their goals, and to matter in their lives, and they have brought us even more love and laughter in person or by email in our live as we change and grow along the way ourselves.
It is always a delight to watch people you know and love grow and prosper as well, and to join them in frolic just to remind ourselves regularly that
life should always have a generous dose of 'fun' in it.
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Today, we celebrated a great fellowship and fabulous Dinner at Wendy and Will's home, (as they are famous for their entertaining talents), as the pictures show, with Toledo Police Chief Don Denison and his wife Rhonda, son Carson, and daughter Savannah, and their sort of 'adopted kid', Jeff.
We got there at 1:30 p.m. and didn't leave until about 6:30 p.m. or so, if that gives you any idea of how great the company was. We could have talked and laughed a lot longer...but all good things come to an end, and we are both 'Thankful' we could spend this wonderful holiday with them and get to know each other better (instead of just a 'hi and a nod' at some function or event).
Rhonda also blessed and surprised Wendy and I both with a beautiful set of earrings (which I promptly put on) that she crafted herself with antique
crystals she salvaged from the jewelry of another era.
How many people get that sort of 'thoughtfulness'
on Thanksgiving Day?
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We are Americans, and as such we have been Blessed to be born in the Richest and Greatest Nation in the World...we are truly God's little spoiled brats, and we know we did not deserve any better circumstances than those who are God's children and who are cold, hungry and starving all over the world. It is very humbling to acknowledge that.
We receive so much and we give so little, and still the Blessings abundantly come.
Sometimes it is embarrassing to admit what gluttons we really are...but it is true.
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As Will piquantly said today, we must also Remember and Thank God for our young military men and women who stand the watch all over the world to protect the freedoms and wealth we take for granted here at home. They sleep in desert holes, and freeze at outposts far and wide...forever vigilant...forever faithful, and forever loyal to all of us.
All give some and some give all...
so that we can join as friends and family in celebration on this most meaningful Holiday. We also thank all those VETERANS who came before and who will
come after, those serving today,
ALL GAVE SOME AND SOME GAVE ALL,
and we will always bow our heads in gratitude for our Veterans,
and salute the Flag they have fought and died for.
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One of Norman Rockwell's famous paintings depicts a beautifully captured 'Thanksgiving Table' with a Grandmotherly woman presenting the Turkey to delighted guests. It is a Tradition of warmth and the gathering of family and friends together to 'give thanks' we have enjoyed since the pilgrims landed at Plymouth Rock and hoped for a 'freedom' still unknown in the world then for thousands of years.
We are still a young country, by the world's standards, and God knows, we are making mistakes in our running of it every day, but we are still the Greatest Nation on Earth, and our people are the most generous people on earth. We give more each year (individually and collectively) to the poorest of countries, and people,
than many other countries and people give in a century.
In times of crisis we pull together as a small community or as a Nation, on streetcorners and grocery stores as we have for the victims of Katrina recently, a natural and devastating hurricane.
We are a good people, and good hearted people, and we have every right to be very proud of everything we stand for, and I am
Thankful to be a citizen of America and to stand proudly with each one.
I am most grateful that we awake each day to a new opportunity to change our lives, our circumstances, or our attitudes...a luxury most of the world does not enjoy. We have choices our forefathers only dreamed of, and we must grow and trust our children to cling to the values, and traditions we offer...but free them to create new and better ways to relate to each other and the world at large.
We cannot give...if we don't reach out...and it is in the
Blessing of the Giving that a 'Meaningful Life' is found.
We shall always have the Richer and the Poorer with us, and the Firm and Infirm as well, there will be the beautiful people and the plain, and the strong and the meek.
Most of those differences are mostly a matter of dumb luck and circumstance and God's good Grace and Blessings...so they mean nothing in the greater scope of things.
God says it shall be 'the meek who inherit the earth'...and it is the wise who serve them now.
I am Thankful that everyone I know, in some way,
helps someone other than themselves have a better life.
God has surely shed his Grace on Thee and Me, and this is the day.... when there is nothing in the world more important than saying
'Thank You' to Him, and to You, for it all.
God Bless You and Yours, and God Bless America.