JUST ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY IN PARADISE....A HEAD ON COLLISION...AND A YUCKED UP TRUCK

Fortunately, Allen wasn't hurt (except for his ego and the severe depression over it).

It's been a balmy 62 - 70 degrees all week and today is no exception, so Allen was following me out on Christiansen Road and must have slowed to a crawl to keep from eating my dust. Anyway, I had passed a big red truck pulling a flatbed full of commercial crabpots and was heading toward Newsport when I got the call from Allen reporting that he had totalled his truck.

It was unbelieveable since it was not five minutes before that he was going to follow me...but when I returned I saw that yes, indeed, it was no illusion....the truck was a mess, and both vehicles were rounding a blind turn at the same time.

No one was cited for fault...and the red truck had a big half inch steel grill guard on it, so it just had to turn around and head out with no damage at all...and Allen had to have his towed into the body shop as it wasn't going one inch.

So, after spending most of yesterday and today looking at trucks in person and on line, the Insurance people called and said they think it can be fixed...
but will know later this afternoon.

Then I had computer problems...so had to have my guru come over and take care of that. This afternoon will be spent inside paying bills...

...and we are delayed on closing escrow on the Nye Beach Lot until next week it appears...which was supposed to close on April 15th 'easy' since it is an owner will carry deal that we'd close in a week in California if we were doing it. I never heard so many lame excuses in my life for the various 'delays'...but what can ya do when all is said and done, except "wait"?

Now I am wondering if the truck will ever be "right" again if they choose to repair it instead of total it???

Yesterday was definitely a beautiful, but crappy day...and it looks like today is not starting out a real winner either....except it is also a beautiful sunny day.

I'm ready to go 'ride'...or maybe let Calgon take me away... AARRRGGGG!

AMBUSHERS AND ASSAULT TEAM...MOUNTAIN STYLE

Wanna come up and get shot in the arse a few hundred times? We got the place for that...and we'd love to chase ya down and make ya a-scared real bad. Bring yer own gun, paintballs and gear and head on out to the ranch, cause I got me a couple of kids and an old man I'd like to greet ya real good.
How's that sound...punk?

"You hear some Banjos Playin Lug?"
"No Gert, all I hear is the sound of yer stomach growling."
"Well, my gut always acts like that Lug when I'm gettin ready to go shoot
me some people."
"Yeah, Gert...I like it too cause it makes me laugh when they scream out
in pain and all.."
"Yeah Lug, and drillin' em fifty times just gives me a rush..."
"Yeah Get, a big rush...ya got anymore chew?"

With all that pink blood hanging off yer back Soldier, you better be getting in some practice if ya wanna play with the big dogs...and look at that...ya missed that tree stump by a mile pup...no wonder you're so already dead buddy...so already shot yer ship to shinola... ya 'piglet' you!
Get your plan together before you head out into the wilderness seeking your prey. Check your gear and your weapons cause getting caught with your pants down or your cache empty in this game could mean pain for you...
What are you lookin at, Punk...you want some of this...well, get in here and try to get some of this.
Following a hail of bullets coming from behind trees and out of thickets, this Soldier (Wendy) is hightailing it down the trail to find cover and sneak in from another direction...crawling on her belly like a reptile through think brush and berry bushes. Yeah, she was eliminated by the Ambushers eventually, but she got up nineteen times before she gave up the ghost.



Now take a good look at your enemy and decide if you have what it takes to defend the roof of the red barn.

They're coming after you, on their bellies or around a bend, doesn't make no nevermind to them...as long as they get you in range.

Get yourself in their 'range' and you'll be pushing up daisys soon enough, soldier. You wanna play with these soldiers...(Will and Wendy) you better pack a lunch.

You listening to me Soldier?










You don't wanna be the FNG in this battle for the red bard do ya...note this soldier (Carson)is bleeding good after walking into a snipers lair.
The old crutch buster with the white beard (Allen) just lays in wait like an Ambusher behind a tree or behind a log...it don't matter to him...all that matters is that you are eliminated before you get a squeeze off at him.



Following one manuever, it's time to reload and check the equipment for round two...different strategy, different denfense positions...different targets....
Now, these two ex military assault team guys (aka David and Will) can sneak up on a squirrel and drill it with the nut still in it's mouth, if they wanted to...and the other assault team (Savannah and Carson) will unload a lotta lead into your mug before you can whistle Dixie too...

You wanna come up and poke around the Backwoods of Oregon? Well, we'll be waitin' for ya with a real welcoming committee.

So ya gotta ask yourself one question. Did ya use the last bullet in that gun or not? and...

"Are ya feelin' lucky, punk? Well, are ya?"

"Go ahead, make my day!"

GRAMMIES BIRTHDAY WEEK...AND "GRAMMIE DAY"...REVISITED!

"Anytime" is a good time to 'bury your cousin' in the Sand...and on this day at the beach with Sierra, Tom and Jordan the camera died before we could get some more good memories immortilized...but photos or not, it was a great day for all of us to spend together just like we used to every Monday for about a year. It just doesn't get much 'sweeter' than this, does it?

There's no denying that Jordan is a cool beach bunny, and she and Sierra were ready to swim the channel to conquer the four sisters mountains...but Tom got to be King of one Mountain, and Sierra and Jordan claimed the other three.
Gorgeous day on one of Lincoln City's beaches for Grammie Day...just like old times.
The Trampoline was a favorite for the girls...but experienced Sierra (who excels in gymnastics) showed everyone how 'high you can fly' when you're having fun!
Sierra comes from a long line of women who like to be in the Driver's seat. It is good to see her Dad training her to be just that! Notice that David is holding a cup of coffee as Sierra takes him for a ride through life too.
It was great that David and Tom and Sierra got to linger a little longer in the North Country as he is usually the one that blows in and out like a Northwestern Pacific Storm...of course, we didn't have ANY FUN!
I mean, if life has taught me anything, it has taught me to go with the 'gusto'...and that I am not going to be one of those people laying on my death bed wishing I had done this or that...for it is often said that when it is time to check out...people regret what they 'didn't do' far more than what they 'did do'.
I might be 60 now, but 'rockin out' with my "perfect in every way grandkids" is one part of the journey I really relish!

60th BIRTHDAY BASH AND SPECIAL GUESTS (continued)...

Now isn't this little guy 'the cat's pajamas'? Here he is with Aunt Wendy...and he seems to relish the day in every way. He's the most easy going guy I know right now, and his brother Ean was just the same at his age...at 7 months old, special guest little grandson 'Ben' was found in many 'arms' over the evening...and was perfectly content on any Lap he found himself on. At the party itself, he was in a lot of photos...but few showed his face...so I picked this from the weekend's treasure chest and you will have to agree that "this smile' is worth a million dollars...and to smile all night at Grammies Party...you are 'priceless' Benjamin...my youngest Grandchild! I luvs you like 'this big'!
At my party, little grandson Ean (two) wanted to be on the outside deck most of the time; he loves the outdoors. He's the most shy around Grammie right now... since I am far away and our visits are too infrequent for him to get a good grasp of who this chub muffin really is...but I am making progress.

It's hard for me to hold back...because he is just so adorable and funny... I just want to snatch him up and give him a bear hug...but if I did that...the look of terror on his face and the loud wails that followed, would break my heart!

Here he is on the outside deck looking at the boats with Uncle David...and later on, I got to throw ice over the edge of this deck with Ean...and like Grammie, he didn't want the party to end cause he started bawling when it was time to come in from the dark and head home....(just like me almost). Way to go Ean, you don't know Grammie really well yet, but you are more like me than you know.

I have lots of butterfly kisses and adventures to share with you...sooner than you think. I am soooo happy you were part of this milestone into old age...and you will keep me feeling young for a long time to come! Smooches from afar!



It's Good Tom is kissing up to Faye at my party since she will be one of his room mates in the near future...when this huggable Grandson comes to live with Grammie and Papa while going to College in Oregon. Right now I am trying to figure out a way to soundproof Papa's room cause it is right next door to Tom's new 'digs'...and listening to Papa's snoring and television would probably drive Tom bonkers...since it had that effect on his father one visit. Anyway, while they visited we did have a chance for a Grammie Day...which was a fond reminder of all the good times we had during that era. Tom, like Joey is just 'good' to the bone...and I can't wait to spoil him a little more than usual.

Thanks for taking part in my surprise Party Tom...I love ya sooooo much (but you knew that already didn't ya?)

60th SURPRISE BIRTHDAY BASH...AND SPECIAL GUESTS!

When a best friend is your son-in-law

you've already discredited all the 'mother-in-law jokes' in the universe.

Jim was a 'special guest' because, from a practical sense,

the "food in me belly" depends on the "sweat of his brow" much of the time.

He's running the Visalia Real Estate office, and we talk business

(Ok...mostly we talk smack..two or three times a week).

Sometimes I think I communicate with Jim more than I do my husband

but the entertainment value alone is Priceless!

Thanks for taking the long journey to my Birthday party

with two little ones in the back seat for the duration...

and thanks for deigning to give me two awesome new Grandson's too.

It appears that making 'boys' is one of Jim's specialties

since he is now 4-0 on that score.

I love you dearly and am glad we finally got a picture "together" too!

Special Guest "Emily Boo"...

this little cherub face in the Lennon glasses

belongs to a little "woman in the making" of formidable power.

Already a precocious 3 year old with a mind like a steel trap,

her sweet nature disarms the determined authority of almost anyone who believes they are able to "reign in" the free spirit and will of this filly.

She is a wonderful companion for Grammie because I so enjoy watching

her practice her wiles and wit at such an early age...but unless she is

challenged in a gifted program soon...I predict she will be a despot by the time she is 5 years old. She's from a long line of 'bossy' women...but none showed

such outstanding 'proficiency' at the age of three.

Oh My!

Everyone deserves a 'secret weapon' in their family arsenal, and my son in law William is mine. Of course, very few are as lucky as I am to call this guy 'my boy'. When something needs to be done around our home, or the rentals we know that William is always there to help get 'er done. He's prepared more dinners for us than anyone else...ever...and should an emergency arise...Will is one family Member that you KNOW will suit up and show up to lend a hand. So, he is very special...mainly because he doesn't owe us a thing...but still freely gives of his time and talent and energy for the old codgers.

So, as a 'special guest' and beloved friend...I knight William..."Sir Will"

always this damsel's "knight in shining armor"! Thanks for everything!

THE BIG 60 SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY...(CONTINUED)

I know I look like Jabba the Hut in this picture, but it was the only decent photo of my wild child Genn and that would be her hubby Steve in the background probably thinking,

"Gee, Linda looks like Jabba the Hut".

Genn has some medical miseries following her around at times, so she wasn't dancing on the tables or swinging from the chandeliers this time around,

but come hell or high water

she made it to my 'surprise' Birthday Party! Now that is a friend, indeed!

I cannot describe the beautiful mysterious 'woman' art prints she chose for me

nor describe what a special story each one brought with it here

but those fantastic 'fantasy' prints are gracing the walls of

my upstairs retreat and they bring me joy everyday.

Thank you for being such a special angel in my life...

even if you are a little devil.

PS - You too Steve...you're an angel (devil) too. ha ha

Hope we get to take a ride this next Sunday to explore

anywhere but 'Dodge' for a day.

Live to Ride and Ride to Live!

That's 'Doctor' Ericksen to you sir!

It was so amazing to walk into the room and see my super pal Karen

with those big blue eyes on high beam, and flashing that school girl smile at me!

She drove all the way from Visalia for a very short visit...and by the next time I see her

I may have to start 'groveling' or something in pure awe.

She is but a smidgen away from picking up that PhD and hopefully,

some new digs up here in the Oregon 'green' so we can hang out more regularly, but she does have a 'sweet' condo on the Kaweah River in Three Rivers (just below Sequoia National Park)

so I'm trying to figure out what we can do to find her a little paradise up here and keep that 'nugget' there...as it will look pretty inviting come next winter's gloom and doom!

A lot of folks best friends wouldn't walk across the street in someone's honor,

so Karen's trip to Oregon just to celebrate this old lady's crossing the

Senior Line for good...

is about as cool as it gets in my opinion.

Special smooches and hugs to (ta da) soon to be Doctor Ericksen! Whoo Hoo!

Now here is the most 'secretive' of my brood, Lindsay...and doesn't she just look like the 'cat that swallowed the canary' at being able to shock the hell out of me

TWICE in the SAME WEEKEND with that good 'secret keeping'

she's so famous for?

Although I know that Wendy and Lindsay were "in charge" of getting

everything pulled together and done to make the party so

perfect...from the venue... to the food... to the 60's decorations... to the guest list...

they are both such 'class acts' they gave their brothers credit too...

(even though their brothers DID provide great entertainment).

Here is the image of a 'can do' woman...

and she does it all (runs and business, a family and a home)

with two babies on her hip

all day long.

Thanks for the Great day you 'gutsy' broad you!

I think my kid Joey looks like John Lennon here, don't you?

Only our Joey is 'cooler' than John Lennon...but a slightly less rich I believe.

Fortunately, his new bride Nicole...looks nothing like Yoko Ono...but more like a page out of a high fasion magazine! It was a long drive from Idaho to the Oregon Coast for a couple who had to be back at work early Monday morning, but what a shock and surprise that they made it, and what an awesome 'birthday present' to have some time with them...

..and their wedding photos of the bride and groom and the family as my Birthday Present?

Priceless!

The Denisons are very close to us here in Toledo, and each one is a treasure.

From right to left is Don (the Dad), Carson (works for us and is our little piglet), Rhonda (the Mom) who helps us with Aunt Faye on Monday and Fridays (godsend), and Savannah (who looks great in camis and kicks butt in the rough and tumble too), on the end is our son-in-law Will and we think of him as another one of our 'sons' because he looks out for us and helps us so much too...he's one of those men who can do everything...excellently!

Thank you guys for making my surprise birthday party soo freaking special!

The beautiful fresh flower bouquet was so awesome

I think it is drooping and dried up in the kitchen window still...

but I haven't had the heart to throw it away yet.

Hugs to the whole bunch of you!

My pal Rhonda Denison and our daughter Wendy could have 'fit right in' to one of my

60's hey days but were born a little late for all that drama.

The photo here turned out a little on the light side,

but it matched my heart on that 'party day' because nothing is

sweeter than being surrounded by my children, grandchildren and dearest pals in the world.

I am one super 'blessed' Mama and appreciate you all more than you will ever know!

THANK YOU A MILLION TIMES AND SLOPPY SMOOCHES AND BIG BEAR HUGS TO ALL!

60th BIRTHDAY PARTY PICS OF FAMILY AND PALS...60'S STYLE! (THE SHORT VERSION CONTINUED)

Meet my Focker cousin Bill who has a few 'senior years' on me

and sometimes a superior wit as well...but he'll come visit when

the food is free and the entertainment is worthwhile...

otherwise he lives a bachelor life and prefers to ride his

'motorcycle' solo cause he still likes to go faster than the law allows at times.

The other old Focker biker would be my hubby, Allen,

who managed to be in on the "surprise party" without giving it away.

Please note he is drinking a "Rockstar", do you think that is repressed desire?

Our oldest son David (shown here with my beautiful 'inside and out'

8 year old Grand daughterSierra given to me by David and Genice)

was 'goaded' into giving me a second Comedy Routine based on true experiences

"The Camel Jockey Story" from his days stationed in Sigonilla, Sicily with

Mother Navy and a road trip to Egypt to see the pyramids...

and the "Delano Prison Centipede Story" he experienced

when opening the prison before transferring to Corcoran State Prison.

A large centipede was on the floor and the inmates were almost

crying in fear...we all laughed heartily, but later David said,

"It would have been funnier if I could have used all the cuss words

the inmates were yelling while screaming to David "Kill it, kill it!"

95 year old Aunt Faye talked about me as a little girl experiencing

'road kill' of a little rabbit for the very first time. I was crying,

"Poor little Rabbit, Poor little Rabbit...you killed that poor little rabbit."

so she and Uncle Merv said they thought the Rabbit had hopped away.

The next week, the squished rabbit was on the road, and as

my beedy little eyes searched the area in remembrance of

the trauma...I spotted the flat carcass of that rabbit and

began to bawl again, "You killed that poor little rabbit."

She told the story in order to say that I have a tender heart.

(but you all already knew that didn't ya?)

OH MY! Was the only response I could give when I

opened the 'vibrating' gift my wild child pal Hilary

blessed me with for my old age entertainment.

Seen here with her 'Boy Toy' Cameron...

she knows I am long term married and can't have

one of those of my own...so the next best thing was 'whr-r-r-r-r" I guess.

Thanks for coming to the Coast Surprise Party Hilary, and you too Cameron,

I value your friendship, humor and way with words

more than you could ever know...and

the XXX rated surprised in the 'unmarked' bag!

and (can't you just see my kids throwing up at this section and pointing to each other

"Well, she's YOUR MOTHER...what do you expect?)

Whooo Hoooo!

Even my smallest grand daughter, Emily, sings, "My hump, my hump

my pretty lady bumps..." or something like that....ha ha

Our Baby Boy "Joey' did a whole comedy routine called 'Hand Me the Gun"

using material he gleaned from the Classroom as a Substitute Teacher!

TOO FUNNY!

Then he made me cry when he described the close

and special relationship we have shared since he was a

little woofer needing another person to

love him into infinity...which is so easy to do for this kid.

WAR ON TERROR....AN ARMY OF ONE SERVING ON A LONELY OUTPOST

I am so sorry my dears that I cannot visit as often as I would like of late to share those home spun local yokel tales you've come to know and love...but I've been a busy, busy Army of One lately...

Alas, President Bubba has left me alone on the US MEXICAN Border with green tea, pork and beans, and a magical potion I am to use... only if I fail to "secure it" by myself as everyone else seems to be too busy for this lowly job at the moment and well, I volunteered for duty with what few skills I can actually offer my Country.

The Mission at times seems doomed, but I carry on...knowing the importance my Commander and Chief places on National Security at the most intimate level possible.

Sure, I am heckeled by Millions of demonstrators who scream, "The Hell with Haiti, Biafra and the Sudan! We have a God Given right to invade America cause it ain´t our problem that America is just sitting there like a bump on a log...right on our border, is it ?"

I struggle for the words to somehow stop or defeat the oncoming hoards...my eyes darting right and left as my jaw begins to matriculate in mere anticipation of my next...carefully spoken "words of mass destruction".

"Words" that will have a "sudden impact" on the continually swelling herd´s thundering feet as they stampede straight for me determined to not let that stupid American 'Rule of Law' get in their way for uno momento....and against this Army of One...the odds seem overwhelming at times.

I see great potential for my guts being stomped and strewn all over this buzzard inhabited desert by sheer numbers alone if they overtake me in one huge wave of huddled mass, and I tremble.

Then I remember I am an American...I CAN DO THIS!

I WAS BORN TO DO THIS...TRAINED TO DO THIS...

HAVE THE TALENT TO DO THIS...

... AND BY GEORGE, I WILL DO THIS!

I slam back my Green Tea, wipe my sweat dripping face with my arm, shake out my jitters and prepare to Greet all them squatter wannabes...HEAD ON.

As my eyes roll back showing clearly only the ´whites of my eyes´, I begin spinning my head in circles faster and faster...the dizziness causes green gunk to erupt from my mouth with a heaving 'accuracy' quite impressive to anyone in range...if I must say so myself.

...while the whole choking sensation that follows is supressed so a deep, gutteral sound escapes from my bowels to my lips in a loud forboding hiss...

´GET...OUT...!´

"Two Words"...immediately heard and understood even by the smallest member of the undulating herd, and thousands stop dead in their tracks, fall to their knees and begin to cross themselves fourteen to thirty times in a rapid succession before turning tail and running faster than a locomotive back into Mexico...wailing and crying while thanking Mary, Mother of God for saving their eternal souls...

Sure, it's another 'victory', but the Glory is short lived at my lonely outpost...as another herd forms in the distance to replace the last... still clinging to their Rosarys in white knuckled terror and swearing to never brave the night again.

As soon as there is a slow down in ´traffic´, or my Border 'relief, (the Werewolf) arrives' again on the full moon finally...I may be able to pack it in for a few days and spend more time speaking sweetly of my fellow man and all the pretty parts of life on my Blog more frequently.

You know how I love to make you all smile during my brief respites from my lonely Mission on the Border for Homeland Security....and I live for that these days.

Cause in my new line of work on the Border,

I don't get many 'smiles' from those I serve.