INVASION OF THE NERDS!

IT ALL BEGAN as our Oregon 'mist' does; a steady drizzling of one Nerd landing and then another Nerd plops down. Soon, we had a Nerd down pouring of near epic proportions.

We had a Nerd Infestation all right, but before we realized it, they were scurrying around every square inch of the Ranch like cockroaches 'after dark'!

It's hard to explain just how strange (and inspiring) the whole experience was...so I think the pictures below will give you a better idea of how lacking we were in our "will and ability" to defend our homeland from the invasion!

In fact, we embraced 'nerdiness' with both arms.

Enjoy!

Well, we all know that High School Freshmen are mouth breathers, so it is with great pride and relief that we note Jordan approaching her Sophomore year finally. We also celebrated her 15th Birthday and recoiled in horror as we realized she may only be twelve months away from....driving!

Here she is flanked by High School Graduate Tom, who so rarely does anything wrong, I think he is qualified to become a 'Master Nerd' for sure...but who is that lady with the nerdy 'bangs' sticking her fingers into the cake...(as if she is tucking in the sheets of a bed or something?) and right in front of the camera at that... even as a young lady (Misty) watches in amazement?

Now that is way beyond being an anal "Girl Nerd" isn't it?

No, this is not a military exercise for God and Country...this is a herd of Nerds aiming to hit each other as many times as possible with paint balls...sometimes the 'cover' they chose was great, and some times it was pretty non existent...either way, this group spent a lot of time in battle...and of course, our son, King Nerd Joseph...only got hit once...and it was right on the side of his head. That in itself was not too nerdy...

...but proudly wearing a blue blob squished on the side of your head for a few days like a 'blue flag of courage' is pretty maximum 'Nerd' don't you think?

Now after a dangerous mission of shooting the living hell out of your opponents...and after everyone has been eliminated from the game by being shot except one victorious 'hero'...

...it is time to get together and discuss the whole mission 'happenings' at length...with laughing and teasing and even some drama...and some were claiming they 'never got hit' during these high pitched battle recaps.

Somehow you get the feeling that those who 'never got hit' were staying in 'deep cover' the whole time while everyone else was lurking and sneaking around actually 'looking' for someone to shoot during their 'seek and destroy missions'.

Nothing but Nerds, folks! Nothing but Nerds.

Nothing quite matches the concept of mindlessly shooting the paint ball guns at a single little Christmas Tree trying to blast it to smithereens. The poor little tree was 'snipered' to death by this crew, and it just sat there dripping in blue paint until the rains (thankfully) washed the paint from it's little branches and relieved it from it's misery, so it could grow up and become a mighty Douglas Fir that once again looks like all the other trees in the forest.

I never pictured 'Nerds' as "Terminators"...but there ya go!

While the Mighty mercenary's were drilling each other with paint balls, one Nerd made off with all the pretty girls in sight. Everyone would be wise to be nice to this Nerd though (Tom), since I think he will become one of those 'mogul' type Nerds. You know the type. He's the one who will be writing the paychecks for all the 'cool' kids he used to know. The kids that believed somehow they were superior in some way... may one day find themselves Tom's 'employees'.

I don't know what it is with this kid, but every time you turn around...he's got not ONE, but TWO pretty girls on his Arm...and Just check out his car...the girls surely do.

This local yokel shows that Nerds need not be City Boys to qualify for the glorious distinction of being a Nerd. Only true Nerds have to make 'strange faces' whenever the camera is ready to capture a moment in time for future posterity. Can't wait to post this on his wedding page one day...or maybe give it to a real pretty girl that is going to visit to get her reaction on perhaps meeting this dude? Yes, yes...I know this teen Nerd is suffering an identity crisis.

He is torn between the success and fun of being a Nerd, and a draw to the Dark Side by the "Cool Dudes" on Campus. His Dad is Chief of Police for Toledo (the ultimate Nerd) and now is destined to arrive on the other side of the world 'any minute' to Train Police Officers in Iraq.

We think his mother will agree that this 'piglet' needs to stay in the Nerd corner (where he belongs) or suffer the dire consequences only a mother can inflict upon her young male Nerds while the Old Man is away.

If you want to qualify as a 'true Nerd'...you need to be able to take a picture of YOURSELF while holding a camera and hoping you are in the viewfinder there somewhere. Making a weird face while taking your own picture qualifies you as a Queen Nerd...and nobody wants to mess with the Queen. Yeah she's smiling now, but somehow you know that jovial demeanor could change at any second and there would be hell to pay for serious infractions of the Queen Nerds' Rules.

Like, being NICE in Public for example.

God Save the Queen!

Yes, training for Nerd Life is difficult, but this is a good candidate. Opening your mouth and showing your food when your picture is being taken is a good sign that you are becoming a Nerd. Of course, it is always gratifying to watch a mouth breather in transition to Nerdiness..

...as they begin wearing T Shirts that say things like, "Hugs Not Drugs"...parent and grandparent Nerds feel a great swell of pride...but everyone else now can easily spot a Nerd from half a block away as they begin quickly to stash all of their drugs and booze and dope before the Nerd arrives to scold them for being so stupid.

Nerds are powerful you know...only they often try to disguise it from the 'cool ones' hanging around the park by frolicking and having fun.

It is always fun to watch the "Father and Son" Nerd Teams...because (as shown here) the Nerd Father is most seriously looking at a problem the Nerd Son caused

by breaking a paintball inside the gun.

Nerd Senior is carefully displaying that concentrated look to Junior Nerd as he examines the gun from every angle possible....before handing it over to his Junior Nerd sternly advising him to go 'clean it up' once his diagnosis is complete...as if he just had to explain the mechanics of open heart surgery. Junior Nerd, shown here is taking the lesson well I think, and is preparing to pass this intense work ethic on to his own progeny, if he ever gets busy producing them... instead of just 'practicing' all the time.

Now here is another serious Father and Son Nerd Team...only this younger Nerd lacks the same concentration level as his older peer above. He tries to act intensely interested in his fathers serious level of instruction, but a hint of unbridled flatulent noise produced by 'bean eating' Nerds among the men easily, diverts his attention from his mission of intense concentration. Keep the faith son, soon you will be able to rivet your eyes upon the washcloth your Nerdy Dad is wiping the gun with...as intently as any of the big Nerds on campus.

If you are very small and are trying to be heard as a Nerd, but no one is paying attention to you...just take your handy 'pull up' diaper and slip it on your head and begin yelling "Look it me....Look it me!" You aren't as slick or as discreet as real Nerds...but you are getting the hang of it obviously... and starting so young means even better success as a "Nerdling in training" you will be embarking on in the not so distant future. All Nerds find themselves flooded with Awards, Recognition, and Attention when they grow up...and most actually do something to benefit the world, or make a community a 'better place'...so learning to speak up and get noticed as a Nerd 'wannabe' is a step in the right direction we think.

What better evidence is there of becoming a 'mature Nerd' than two people taking a picture of one another... taking a picture? Of course, the true test is when you don't look at the giant viewfinder while taking the picture so all that shows up in a photo is two hands, a camera and two big eyes bugging out at ya! These Nerdy photos rarely find their way into photo albums, or even blogs...but that doesn't stop Nerds from taking them.

We don't know why Nerds actually 'do this', but we surely know that if it is done...it's by a Nerd.

Yes, its' true...the best family pack of Nerds if you ever witnessed!

(L-R) Jim Moore, Tom Moore (the Graduate), Joey Palmer, Allen Palmer, Will Rudy, Jonathan Rudy....and the Nerd rolling her eyes would be Jordan Rudy, (the Birthday Girl...and the only female Nerd of this crazy bunch).

And what does the future hold for the 'visiting Nerds' shown here?

You tell me!

(L - R- Darren Chang (English Teacher), Clinton Candle (Land Surveyor), Chris Dilback (Psychologist for Special Education), Joey Palmer (Christian High School English Teacher and *gasp* book worm), Trevor Lewis (Wine Tender and a 'Mainland' Retail Store Manager), Steve McMahon (Sixth Grade Teacher), and Dennis Twitty (Sound Editor for Film)

Yes, we had an Invasion of the Nerds all right, and one of them came up with a typical Nerd Idea. They are designing T Shirts to commemorate the First Annual Nerd Retreat 2006, and have vowed to meet again next year to once again have the time of their lives, running around like maniacs having nothing but Fun.

Except for those two Nerds who lost the 'game' at the Beach House and had to run naked down the beach trail, and into the ocean...and back up again...while a bunch of fellow Nerds stood around laughing their asses off at them. Perhaps that wasn't a high point in their

otherwise 'laugh and joke' ridden vacation destiny, we don't know.

The old adage

"LIVE, LOVE AND LAUGH OFTEN"

no doubt was created by a true Nerd.

"Bare bottoms up" is all I got to say "about that"

What say you?