CONGRATULATIONS TO DAVID...JOB WELL DONE!

Of course I am always 'clucking' when one of my 'chicks' accomplishes good things (and it seems like one or another of them is always doing something like that)...but I am so extra proud that David was among the 28 (of the 60 that started with him) that graduated from the College of Sequoias Police Academy the 26th of January.

The recognized Top Police Academy in the State of California. So designated because it is 'tough' and that is why so many who sign up, pay their tuition, buy their uniforms, and show up...never make it.

I am extra proud....

Not because the schedule was grueling (30 College Criminal Justice Units in 6 months...Joey will know how hard that is)...

and ...not because he was competing with 20 somethings in physical and mental agility...and he turned "40" in August, which as those who are 'aging' know... is hard to do (and for most of us, impossible).

...and not because he was the top of his class in two very difficult protocols,

He received the Top Award (and an Academy Record) for "Shooting Accuracy at a staggering 99.70% accuracy, of course, I don't know if I could hit the broad side of a barn since I haven't shot a gun in 40 years...so it is even more impressive to someone like me.

He also tied with another Cadet (a woman) for the Top Award for "Practicals" which is Hand to Hand Combat, Driving Skills, academics and Scenarios (which means taking the appropriate action in many different law enforcement situations they are likely to encounter 'on a street beat') to name most of what is included in the 'practicals' category. He was pretty confident he would receive the shooting Award, but was surprised at the second one. They got a limited edition 'police officer' figurine, and a $100. Gift Certificate to the Uniform Shop, and of course the Certificate of Award themselves for any 'I love me' wall they may create later.

I am most proud because I know what it took for David not to throw up his hands and walk away from the Academy many times, AND for his reason to put himself through it. David already completed the Military Training for the Navy, and the State of California Peace Officers Academy when he was just a pup.

He also completed the Federal Air Marshals Intensive Training Camp before he served as a Federal Law Enforcement Agent...mostly with the cream of the crop in prior Law Enforcement Experience Nationwide. Former CIA, Secret Service, ATF, Navy Seals, Green Berets, etc. SWAT Team, Military Intelligence...attended the Federal Law Enforcement Training Academy with David.

So when he found himself surrounded by twenty year olds who barely graduated from High School, with little or no training or experience going for them except for "a few" ex Military Cadets, and former probation officer...it was humbling to be "just another cadet". When the kids 'beat' David at something, they would tease him "That Federal stuff isn't doing you much good on this one", or "What did you get on this...ha ha I beat you."

He also didn't much like the new "Hey Homey..." boys who were in his class not speaking english, but 'street' language. He saw too many of those hand signaling, body swaying types while he babysat at Corcoran Prison for seven years, way back when. In fact, he was 'taken back' that these were going to be future police officers at all.

Sometimes he would roll his eyes at their comments, sometimes he would bark a little at them, and once in awhile, he would 'bite' some of these smart aleck pups if they got too disrespectful and brought their egos down a notch. He served a long time as Class Leader, and got in trouble once for saying the F word when he fell on a wet pavement, landing on his knees, after jumping an 8 foot wall too fast and landing too hard during one of the Final Exam protocols for Physical Agility.

When he went to his knees, he thought he might have seriously injured himself as the pain shot to his groin, so the F word just jumped out there and hung in the air...until an instructor grabbed it and made it an issue. Other cadets remarked about how lucky they were their own expletives like M F'er, etc. wern't heard when they slipped, and worse. That was small consolation to David since it was the last week of school and he had never had any mark against him. Still, he sucked it up and moved on.

He had to suit up and show up by 7 am each morning, and everyday there were 'Uniform Inspections' (including the polilched boots...like boot camp) 'Recitations' which means each Cadet was called forward to Cite a Code Section of Law "word for word"...so of course, the night before...everyone was supposed to memorize the whole thing just in case that Section was the one they had to Recite.

David helped a lot of the guys do better too, with shooting skills and hand to hand combat skills and other areas he is more qualified to 'teach' .... than be a trained as a 'cadet' in ...and his class evaluations by others indicated that one of David's strongest assets as a classmate was his leadership and willingness to help others better their skills and scores. It may not seem like that is very important, but from day one, a culture of extreme 'competition' is instilled into the cadets...sort of an 'every man for himself' philosophy (which I don't agree with by the way)...so 'helping others do better' is helping others 'compete' and maybe 'beat' you. I thought it was cool that he would look beyond the 'competition' to help build better police officers in the field.

All of the above is worthy of 'kudos' certainly, but I am MOST PROUD about why he chose to attend the Academy in the first place. A Municipal Police Officer only earns a 'fraction' of what David was paid as an Air Marshal, and the benefits aren't worthy to mention in comparison. David had the respect and glory that goes along with being a Federal Law Enforcement Agent, and the Federal Badge and Gun that goes with it. He was pretty much unsupervised as his team met at LAX and did their jobs all over the USA and all over the world once in awhile.

Why would someone with all that prestige, and triple digit income choose to go back to square one to become a beat cop...or some other low paying, unappreciated, local public servant? Well, I'll tell you why....

Her name is 'Sierra McKenzie', his daughter and only child. That's the only reason for the sacrifice.

As a Federal Agent he was away from home most of the time, never knew "if, or and when" he would be home...and found himself taking a good long look into the future to realize that an 'absentee Dad' was not what he wanted for his daughter.

He's always been a great 'partner' with Genice (Sierra's Mom) in hands on caring for Sierra...fussing over her, being devoted to her...since birth. In fact, I think he is more 'fussy' about Sierra than Genice ever dreamed of being (and it drove all of us crazy at one time because he was constantly hovering over her...concerned about something).

He signed up for the Federal Air Marshals right after 9/11 promising that the 'terrorist bastards' were never going to get away with killing innocent Americans again. He was one of the first selected to serve due to his prior Law Enforcement and Military experience, and he served almost three years...knowing every day that he was missing important years of Sierra's life.

So, he chose to start at the beginning...from the bottom...in order to come home every night and share completely in the life and times of his daughter. He and Genice share equal custody of Sierra so she is at David's home for a week and then at Genice's...both David and Genice are awesome parents, and Sierra's best interests are always at the top of their hit parade charts.

So, I am most proud that he chose his relationship with his daughter over the money, property and prestige his former job offered him. Problem is, like all of the rest of us...David doesn't yet realize that at 40...for some reason...the job offers get thinner in Law Enforcement or anywhere else. He also has a sister that was a City Councilwoman in his home region, and because she was an avid supporter of the 'beat cops', she did not attain the admiration of Administration.

A 20 year old will take orders without question...a former Federal Agent, might not.

Of course, Wendy found David several Law Enforcement positions here in Oregon, and a job promise right here in Toledo for David if he could relocate...but he can't. Genice has an insurance business in Visalia, and it would take a lot of money for her to pick up and move...and she would lose most of what she has built over the past several years in clients. So, he is stuck in the Central Valley...which he hates....for Sierra...and for now.

In California, there is not a lot of 'brotherhood' between different Law Enforcement AGencies, in fact, (a culture that is also in the Academy) there is a lot of animosity between Sheriff's Department Deputys, and City Police Officers, and the FBI and other Agencies. They don't cooperate with each other very well, and show a lot of 'distain' and 'disrespect' for each other, but maybe that is what happens when you have 33 million people, and still can't pay police Officers decent wages for what they do....and risk.

Oregon has 3 million people and the State Police, and Local Police work together. If an incident occurs that needs police officer help...here or away, all Community Police available are on the scene as quickly as possible to 'help out'. It is not uncommon to see Newport Police, Toledo Police and State Police cars on scene...helping each other. I think because Oregon has never been a 'rich state' and has pretty much remained so, so the culture of law enforcement working together cooperatively was born of necessity and 40 years old means nothing to them. In fact, they would love to learn all that the Feds taught David in the past, rather than be jealous and/or demeaning of that prior experience and service.

Behind every good man is a good woman (the saying goes) and David has had some 'good women' in his corner helping him achieve his "back to the future' goal. Genice, his ex wife took on more 'load' with Sierra in lots of ways to see him through (and she attended his graduation with Sierra as well), and did a lot more 'pick up and delivery' than she would have had to...

...and Leslie, his Girlfriend was a great supporter, cheerleader, and helper...cleaning his house, looking out for Sierra, walking the dog, rubbing his shoulders, shopping for groceries...and plenty more. She encouraged him and listened to the day to day 'blows' David suffered to his ego as well. No small feat for anyone.

His sister Lindsay and brother-in-law Jim live near David so are in easy reach to help when David needed them, although he was so busy he didn't ask much...he knew they were there for him.

...and finally, Sierra. She had to entertain herself many nights while Dad meticulously hand wrote in block letters page after page of memos and assignments, he had a lot more 'homework' than she did, and six months of intensity of purpose is a lot different than having Dad every night, as she got used to the year before as he wrote his 'book' and did what he pleased for the most part.

She was a real Trooper, and for eight years old....outstanding. She just got chosen to get into the Gifted kids program at school, so maybe all that study impressed her more...but it could be that Sierra is actually 'competing' with Dad... as she is the most 'competitive' little kid I have ever seen. Of course, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, so with Genice AND David both as 'competitive' as hell in anything they get into, she probably didn't stand a chance of not being a 'competitor' from the very beginning.

In fact, she gets an 'ice cream' certificate from school every time she 'reads a book' and is reading so much she is way ahead of all the other kids, and David feels like everytime they turn around they are at the ice cream store with another 'certificate' for a free ice cream.

I'm sending a free 'ice cream' certificate to David too...for his 'graduation' present..

...a two scooper at least!

JOB WELL DONE!

THE BEACH BOYS AND A NEW TOY...

Allen and I have been so 'dying dog' sick since New Years, we became like two catepillars in our cocoons called, "our beds" for weeks now...(and other than making a mad dash to the bathroom so many times a day and night it makes me dizzy just remembering it)... our activity limited to only doing what had to be done to sustain life and limb, follow the Doctors orders somewhat, feed the animals...and staring at the television like two brain dead people with eyes glazed over, not really 'getting it' but somehow relieved something was passing before our eyes, instead of our lives at that point...

...so with the reports of the ending of the RECORD BREAKING RAIN we've endured to help make things seem even more GLOOMY...we pryed ourselves from the house for a few short adventures in the past few days...just to see if we were going to be struck dead in the process. The good news is that I lost about ten pounds during the ordeal, but before you get excited about it, it didn't make a dent in my appearance...I am still a rolley polley...and it will take about nine times that ten pounds before a 'wow' will come from my lips...that is certain.

Whether I am up to that challenge of starvation and self denial...or not is anyone's guess at this point. I am still not very hungry so it is easy right now to just say no to all the fattening things I like...but let me get my health back...and resistence may go the same way as this flu...'away'.

I won't belabor the sick experience talk as so many have had this Flu, Sinus infection, Bronchitus, Pneumonia crud combination...(not a single part of the body worked right...and to top it off the severe dehydration with the cramps that come with it...legs arms chest back and even the gluteous maximus...) to go further into the details of it would bring back horrible memories for all who were struck with this awful thing.

The sun came out finally, and we could start moving toward recovery, finally!

In the meantime, our little girl puppy, Nicky took off with Joey and Lucky on an 'exploring' adventure off the ranch during our sick time, (and due to our neglect of them), and when the Boys returned, she didn't return with them, during one of the awful storms...and the creek was full and raging like a river...so after a full week and daily calls to the pound, we believe that Nicky is gone...for good.

I think she went somewhere they could get out of, and she couldn't...and when I try to think happy thoughts about it, I think someone stole her and now she has a new family loving her that couldn't afford to buy her so they stole her.

Otherwise I start 'tearing up' over the loss because it makes me so sad. One thing is certain, we will keep the boys (and get no other dogs), probably get them fixed, and definitely get them trained properly...along with us.

THE BOYS AT THE BEACH....

So, with a lot of guilt for our neglect of the Dogs needs during our sickness, we took them to the beach to romp and roam and they had a great time, but Joey would not come when we called him, so now we are scheduling a 'Training Class' for them and us, so they can learn how to behave properly, come when called and behave with good manners, without us "ruining them" first.

Jordan went with us and was a big help...with Lucky, and with running after Joey to get him when he went to 'bug' some little dogs on the beach who didn't want to 'play' with him...and the two little kids about one and two (reminded me of how Ean and Ben will be in another year) that were with them...he almost knocked over, twice!

However, our Boys found some other larger dogs once the little yappers were gone, and Mom and Dad had enough of the beach with the little ones and the dogs...and then they had the time of their lives OFF THE LEASH...frolicking like crazy.

One was a Great Dane puppy and another was a Lab-Boxer female mix that out smarted our Guys at every turn...of course the Great Dane Pup was twice their size already and merely had to 'glide' to put distance between her and Joey at will, but he gave it all he got to keep up with her and try to be the Alpha on the beach.

Nice try Joe, but just because you have been the Alpha around here due to Allen and I spoiling you rotten...that doesn't mean everyone in life is going to lay down for you...no matter how hard you try to convince them of it. Lucky was pretty well behaved overall...so I say that Lucky is my dog now, and Joey is Allens...ha ha.

THE NEW TOY -

The new Toy is a Manco Dingo Go Kart, 6 hp we got today from some folks who have 100 acres of land in the middle of Forestry Land out on Highway 34 on the Alsea River...it's almost new, and after we wrote the check for the Go Kart, and were driving out of their place...we saw a whole HERD OF ELK for the first time since we have been here...that was pretty thrilling to say the least. Those were some BIG hunks of meat on hooves for sure, especially the Bull.

So, now we have another fun vehicle for those who like to ride stuff around the ranch, only a lot lower than the ATVS so it will seem a lot faster I'm sure...can't wait til Allen and Will make the dirt track in the lower pasture...and I can't wait to go to Mt. Baber to try out the 27 miles of Trails on the ATV's and Trail Bikes when it opens back up soon either.

Jordan took a test ride on the Go Kart and gave it thumbs up on the 'fun' meter, so that was the final test to see if we would buy it or not...and it was our second adventure out of the house...except for Grocery Shopping and dinner at Wendys. I think I will get Faye Wednesday as I am feeling up to driving that long now...and she has a Doctors appointment in Corvalis that day...so hopefully, things will seem more normal...as less 'quiet' around here soon.

We thought about taking a Ride on the Motorcycle, but we are still to weak and still too prone to getting sick again to chance it, or big crowds of people. We got to the Doctor tomorrow, so hopefully all the 'sick' signs will be gone...and life can go on a bit more energetically...to say the least.

Being a 'slug' has never been high on the list of things I enjoy doing. lol

Want to come play with our new toy?

Let me know?!

FAVORITE SERIES OF PICTURES...EMILY IS SUCH A GIRL!

We had already been through enough picture taking to choke a horse, and Emily was done with her cooperation mode...and done with giving any smiles...for any more pictures...damnit.

Wanting to get a couple of good ones of the 'cousins together' we begged and cajoled for just one more smile, one more look at the camera. Please!

The first photo shows the glare from Emily as she seems to be saying, "I said I was done...don't you people get it?"

The second photo is an "Absolutely not...ain't happening, ain't gonna do it...talk to my agent...talk to the hand...I am not even going to show my face now, you've pushed me too far this time, I'm mad...really really mad!"

But the third photo is priceless cause Grammie found a piece of 'chocolate candy' in her pocket she was willing to bribe the Princess with to get one last smile for the camera.

Not only did the princess come up with her face showing, beaming with a big smile just at the thought of 'chocolate' bribes...she even put each of her index fingers... into each of her dimples for good measure too....and you thought Shirley Temple was cute?

OF COURSE, after Ean had patiently watched the Drama go on in our trying to get Emily to Cooperate, obviously and as seen in the photos...by the time she made up her mind to be 'cute' Ean (such a little man) just wanted to go home...and did.


EMILY IS SUCH A "WOMAN" IN TRAINING....

PRICELESS!

FAVORITE SERIES OF PICTURES...EAN THE GOOD BOY!

Now this series of photos is about EAN (21 months old), who is constantly busy, morning to night...24/7.

Here he starts working on the electrical heating units, but spots a piece of paper on the table with 'candy in it', he opens the candy and pops it in his mouth...now left holding the wrapper...he heads to the garbage can...pops the lid, then drops the wrapper in, wipes his hands on his shirt and is quite happy to hear what a 'good boy' he is...just before he seeks something else to explore or check out...like an electric light plug for example.

Yeah, you might be saying..."What's so special about that?"

Well, let me tell you...some day EAN is going to be a teenager, and it will do us all good to remember this year when he picked up after himself, and put his own garbage in the garbage can "unasked" and not under threat of death...and when the wheels seemed to be turning full throttle...instead of being on idle for a few long years.

In fact...we have "evidence" that cleaning up after himself was what he "liked" to do... and knew how to do....before he was two just in case our memory fades about whether or not it was all a dream...

...AND FOR THE RECORD,

THAT'S PRICELESS!

FAVORITE PICTURES...FIRST QUAD RIDE IN THE MUD AND RAIN...

THIS is Lindsay and Jim after Lindsay's FIRST RIDE on the Quads...they came in muddy and wet and laughing like two teenagers.

It made my 'favorites' List not because of the brilliant photography nor the clarity of the photos...but just look at those beaming faces.

When it's your kids...and they are wearing "these faces".... it's

PRICELESS!

THE WEDDING - DECEMBER 30TH, 2005

Now here is where I may be getting into trouble, but this Blog is about my own reflections on life as I live it, so I have to "calls them as I sees them" in order to be true to my self and others, who have some interest in what is written here.

First of all, I could have killed my youngest son when he announced his wedding was going to be on the 30th of December!

Originally, it was going to be around next June...then they moved it forward to 'spring' and then it became as soon after Joey Graduated from College as possible!

Now 'It' was going to be in Idaho in the dead of winter where the average temperature is about 34 degrees on a nice day, and just days after a big family Christmas celebration here in Oregon planned for more than a year. O VEY!

I also knew this would place a financial strain on all of our family due to the expense of traveling here for Christmas, Christmas itself, and it being a slow time of year for our various business interests, then on to Caldwell, Id. on a second journey more than ten hours from here. Of course, I don't think the Bride and Groom thought much about anything except that it was time to get married after three years of dating and waiting...and away they went on their plans...kids!

Of course, we wern't going to miss the wedding for anything...no matter when they held it, so we had to suck it up and plan that extra leg into the mix...but I wasn't whistling dixie about it either.

I also knew that once the wedding itself was over, Nicole and Joey would be leaving for their long awaited honeymoon which ended up being a cruise in the Gulf (but I haven't heard how it all went yet, although I know my son could have fun no matter where he went) unless they got as sick as we ended up being for the past ten days.

The rest of us would be in Boise, ID. which doesn't seem to be on anyone's 'top ten' vacation destinations in the world...so some would go home and some would go on...and we were in the second group of 'going on' to Las Vegas with Jim and Lindsay and entourage...so there ya go.

December 30th was also a Friday which meant some of the working class would have to take off work to attend. David and Sierra couldn't go because David is still in the Police Academy and had to get back or face losing a lot of points for not being present. So, we had to ship David and Sierra back home only three days after they were able to arrive...which was way to short of visit time for all of us for a lot of investment.

Finally, we accepted the date and time because Joey let us know that he and Nicole had remained true to their promise to stay 'virgins' until marriage and he was way more than anxious to experience the consumation of his marriage vows. I sorta kinda understood how he felt, but my nose was still a tad out of joint anyway, forgive me the jewish mother bit even though we aren't jewish.

Nicole had graduated from Biola University last May so they had been apart for some time as well while Joe finished some courses he had neglected in the past, so both of them were 'chomping at the bit' to pledge their lives to each other as soon as they could.

OK, I thought, how can I complain when my son had the gonads to keep a promise to God like that in the face of all the opportunity and temptation in the world they had gone through to not keep that promise. They did things the 'right way' so if we were inconvenienced, well that was a small price to pay, right?

As we all readied to make the journey to Caldwell, ID right after our Christmas celebration the 26th, the house looked like a Tornado hit it when we left...scrambling to get Gramma Roach, my son David and Sierra packed with all the Christmas stuff and all of us on our proper flights on the 29th.

Exhausted, and feeling a 'bug' coming on, it didn't help that our flight was delayed several hours so by the time we landed in Boise, rented our car and got to the motel room...there was no time to freshen up for the "Rehearsal Dinner" we, as the Grooms family, had promised to pay for at a nice restaurant.


Barely getting to the Dinner on time (and without directions we sort of wandered around for a while looking for the place...), everyone was dressed beautifully for the event, except us...we still looked (and felt) like Oregon 'Mountain folk' much to the horror of my son (which he got over after a mild verbal spanking on my part succinctly delivered to him).

I was in no mood to hear how inappropriately we were dressed as we had gone through so much to just 'get there' so we could pick up the tab for the traditional Rehersal Dinner the Grooms family provides for the opportunity of meeting the bridal party and the brides family, etc.

Then, there were no more seats in the main private dining room for our family to sit with all the other guests...(which was awkward to say the least)...one of the serving staff made a remark about the 'extra people' showing up that wasn't on their list of guests I had an opportunity to let them know that I was one extra who was going to be writing the check for the whole shabang so hopefully things could be worked out better for us sometime soon.

Joe's pals in the wedding party were kind enough to take the outside dining room so our family members could sit with the rest of Joe and Nicole's families in the main room and we began meeting some of Nicole's family as they introduced themselves.

After some shuffling around of bodies, we were able to be seated.

The dinner was delicious, and there were nearly 40 people there but when it was over, we wouldn't see our son or anyone from Nicole's family until the next day when we were asked to come to the church by 11 am for picture taking which was a little unique for us since most photos at weddings we have attended is after the ceremony and before the Reception...but we wanted to do the right thing and make no fuss about anything and showed up as directed.

Of course, after waiting for about an hour with the two babies of Lindsay's getting restless and Emily wanting to play too...we found that they had a nursery which we used at different times during the photo taking part of the day. As luck would have it, As soon as Wendy and Will went to get mochas for all of us, they called us for our photos and Joey reprimanded us for not being ready at the time they called us, but I chalked that up to his nervousness and let it slide.

We've never been to anything where Joey's "other" family was in attendance...which is his Mother, Sylvia, sister Karen and niece Elizabeth so none of us really knew where we fit into the scheme of things so it was awkward once again just to try to figure that one out.

Everyone was very nice and of course, Joe's Mom, sister and Niece are familiar old friends so we felt pretty comfortable around them already....but there were so many we had not a clue about, so we sort of clustered by ourselves and tried to stay out of the way for the most part.

As hundreds of photos were being shot over the next two hours of the wedding party, the wedding party with Joe's Mom and her family, the wedding party and Nicole's family, and so on and so forth...we were finally called up for about a five minute... five photo shot... session and then we were done.

Except that Allen's ex wife Sylvia made a special request of the photographer to have "herself, Allen and Joe and Nicole ONLY" in some photos...so I stood aside trying to figure out what that one was all about too...but Sylvia's husband was nearby so I sort of stayed near him during this odd event...and took some photos of my own. lol

We barely know Joe's step-dad John, and his step brothers as his Mom married again sometime around Joe's High School graduation I believe. Once we got to talking to John later that day, I found him very nice and a real person...we had a few laughs hiding out behind the church to smoke together too.

Sinners.

Finally, it was time for the ceremony and for some reason Allen and I were seated in the row behind Sylvia and John...which seemed odd to me, but we didn't whine about it as Joe awaited his bride.

The ceremony itself was beautiful and at the beginning Joe almost lost it and I had to hold his mother back from running up in the middle of it to give him a tissue and heaven knows what else...thank God..."but Joey's crying" she pleaded with all the anguish a mother would have if a child were hurt, but I reminded her that Joey was a man now and he would be OK). ..."but, Joey's crying..." she protested, and I warned, "Don't go up there, please!"

For a minute, I thought Allen was going to join her...but he held back as well after grabbing for a tissue. I surely didn't want the two of them jumping to the rescue in the middle of the ceremony by going up there and drawing attention to themselves as Joey was going for his composure...which he did within 30 seconds or so. His composure regained, the ceremony continued beautifully without Joe having to be embarrassed as his mother and father ran into the middle of him and Nicole to comfort him. YIKES!

The seriousness of wedding vows and the place of a man and a woman in a marrige was delivered succinctly, completely and seriously by the pastor and I have to say that it was one of the most meaningfully touching exchange of vows I have ever witnessed.

Looking at the beautiful man and woman standing before us was a tribute to God as I knew that they had done all in their power to be truly worthy of the white wedding they were sharing now. They came before God and witnesses 'unspotted' and there was something very moving spiritually about that, and my own spirit leaped in their presence as well. "Well done..." escaped my lips as if in prayer.

It turns out that Joe and Nicole pretty much paid for the whole wedding themselves...so funds were very limited as to what they were going to be able to do, but somehow they had covered all the 'important things' a wedding should have in order to preserve the memories for all posterity.
The large wedding party was formally adorned, and with both Joe and Nicole tall and narrow in stature (along with her brothers and Joe's step brothers) it was quite a presence of youth and hope for the future.

The Reception room was decorated beautifully (probably by the artistic talents of Nicole) and there were some things to munch on there as well as I had been particularly concerned that so many people would travel so far for a mere 'desert and punch' reception they had planned in the beginning.

I'm from the old school of hospitality where big weddings must offer some sort of refreshment to guests other than cake and punch, and as it turned out, for those that had been there all morning...many words of gratitude came my way for our picking up the extra tab to have some veggie plates and cheese and meat dishes on hand as they were starving by then. Nicole's family and family friends worked hard serving everyone and keeping the punch bowl filled and everything nice as well.

A big surprise and a wonderful visual treat came with a photo video that was presented of Joey and Nicole as little babies, little kids, teenagers and through their young adulthood as friends and college students, then engagement and I will forever be grateful to them for including a nice picture of me and both of them we took one Easter in the mix.

It was an acknowledgement of my existence in Joe's life that I was feeling sort of left out of until that time, unfortunately. Joe's best man, Micha also mentioned how he and Joe had been friends since 3rd grade or something like that and how our homes (Sylvia's and Allen's and mine) were like a second home to him as well growing up and that he felt like we were second parents.

I felt somehow vindicated from what I perceived as my complete 'hind tit' parent position through those two generous acts alone.

Joey became my son when he was just seven years old, and he immediately carved his way into my heart as "my son" when I married Allen more than seventeen years ago. I never think of Joe as my 'step-son', so you'll have to forgive me if I don't take the place of 'step-mom' in these things, nor in life, with too much dignity or acceptance.

I also have some understanding for the awkwardness Nicole and her family must have felt as they have been 'forever married' and not used to the protocol nor ins and outs of dealing with their new son who brings with him two families, complete with siblings and nieces and nephews on each end of the spectrum...and each with their own place in Joe's heart.

None of us have to navigate this special 'difference' in most of life as Joe moves from one family to another pretty seamlessly so for the most part there is not a lot of evidence of how much love has been going around for all of us. Now he will have all of 'us' and he will have Nicole's family all vying for their presence on Holidays and celebrations the two of us have learned to share over the years with as much acceptance and understanding as the situation merits, and is possible. We hope that Nicole's family realizes that she has to be 'shared' with us now as well...even though it is not going to be easy for them either. Se La Vi

Especially profound for me was the amount of credit people were actually taking for Joe's recent successful graduation from College at the wedding. I don't look at this in a negative or judgemental way, as it was more of an enlightening as to how many people really are in Joe's corner and rooting for his success in whatever he does.

If not for Sylvia's husband John, Joe would not have been able to qualify for the Veterans payment of his tuition for college, which is no small item in my book. It was John's service in the Military that paved the way for a financial benefit Joe would not have otherwise qualified for and that would have caused hardship on his Mom and Us and Joe as we picked up the tab to see him through.

Another credited Nicole herself for helping Joe see his way through college graduation as a good student, and no doubt her influence on him to do well was significant as she was there day to day to experience with him the ups and downs of starving college life. A good and studious student herself, she definitely would want her man to maintain a GPA worthy of his promise.

John credited his sons for Joey going on through college (instead of himself for footing the tuition part of the cost) and there is also no doubt that his son's own examples as fine young men also proved another good thing for Joe to witness.

Perhaps, it is a good combination of helping hands and hearts and supportive attitudes that helped pave the way for his success...but in the end, the Credit and Accomplishment is all Joey Palmer's to claim in my opinion...no matter how many cheerleaders were in his corner with the old Rah Rah, nor who wrote the checks.

He came into this world destined just an extraordinary type of guy and was to make a mark on this old world of his own creation. He didn't have to slam his own head on a wall to realize that destructive behavior nets no profit, and while all his pals were in a destrictive mode, Joe had the stamina to stay away from drugs and booze and other escapes from the harsh realities of life. He didn't need wonderful examples, he had some bad ones to choose from and they worked just as well, I believe. Joe has been able to separate the wheat from the chaff in all of his relationships sooner or later, which are long and steadfast, and ongoing since he was a wee little one.

He's able to grasp opportunity and with brains, humor and charm...inch his way to his own goals because he is naturally charming and good in spirit and heart. No where near perfect either just like the rest of us walking around earth doing the best we can with this never ending problem solving experience called life on life's terms. No one else can lay claim to the attributes Joe has as evidence that 'they' and not him, are responsible for his success in anything he does.

I'm proud for any good wisdom he has taken along the way from me and many others others and then utilized to achieve his dreams, and I'm thankful to watch his work in process, but to take 'credit' for his success just seems to diminish Joe, and I ain't having none of that.

Nicole could have never dreamed of the laughter and richness he will bring to their lives as the head of their household, as she first saw him in Borders Bookstore lovestruck for the very first time in his life with the young girl his eyes beheld and determined then and there to claim as his own mate through life more than three years ago.

Each person who attends a beginning or an ending milestone of life comes away with certain impressions and experiences and I am sure that mine are quite different than anyone elses...but that is why I have my own blog..to share these things as I see them, warts and all.

All in all, it was a wonderful wedding and it's with significant pride I share it with you. I wish them every good Blessing, and every good thing life has to offer...just as any "Mom" wants for her young.

Congratulations and God's Speed to you both Joe and Nicole. Well done.

HOME FOR CHRISTMAS...JOEY PALMER

We all know that whenever 'the Joe' is around there are going to be laughs and cutting up right along with it. Joe came in on the 23rd...and typical Joe...to get the cheapest plane tickets...he had to arrive at 7:45 a.m. in Portland which meant that to meet his arrival, one has to leave here by 4:45 am and no one was too keen on signing up for that one.


While Joe was arriving from LA, Gramma Roach was arriving from San Jose about 11:30 am...so we told Joe to read a good book and we would be there to pick them both up on her arrival. It worked out great for Allen and Will...who ended up making the Journey to the Airport.

Joe must have felt 'showered' with presents this year for Christmas as we combined his Graduation, Wedding and Christmas into one big series of cool things...that he had to open while here so we could get the joy of seeing how much he liked the things we spent so much time pondering and picking over a long period of time. He is always so appreciative of even the smallest thing, it was a thrill to lavish him this time. He's shown here being a real 'he man' after opening his 5 or 6 piece power tool set, and we think he'll get use of it soon since he wants to build his own 'poker playing' table.

It can't be a family 'get together' any more without the new traditional 'poker game' and as you can see by the photo...I already went bankrupt, and Jim is about to head my way...and Joey is sort of scratching his head as William and Lindsay kept loading up all the chips in their own direction...but what a kick to tease and kid with each other...even for the very short time I lasted before the two 'bluffers' bluffed me right into the poor house! Even Joe, who's plays at least one or twice a week with his pals while going to college was wiped out by these two sharks.

Then of course, we had to get some guitar picking in there as well, and Joe did some Johnny Cash for us before going on to ride the Quads or play Pool or otherwise partake in the various venues that were happening all over at the same time. Music has been a big part of Joe's life and I remember us buying his first guitar...a cheap one...and him initially complaining how his guitar teacher wasn't teaching him any songs...just boring scales...and he wasn't feeling much like doing them. I promised Joey that if he would practice those scales every single day for at least one hour a day, then in 30 to 60 days he could play almost any song he wanted...and thankfully, he believed me.

Many guitars and amps later, and many songs written and CD's sponsored, and drum sets bought...Joe ended out the most musically accomplished of everyone else in our family combined. Simply because he 'stuck' to it, as he did college and as I believe he will his marriage.

He shot a gun for the first time in his life, and had the bruise from the kick to prove it...but like everyone else, he didn't enter the 'frog eating' contest.

Joe is kind of a 'floater' t family gatherings and sort of makes it a point to get with every single family member a little during these times, from the old ones to the youngest...each gets a little attention from 'the Joe' and everyone enjoys it. Unfortunately, on the big day where everyone was together which was the 26th...Joe was holed up in my bed 'sick' and unable to wield the family video camera to forever immortalize the events of the day and the back happenings we might have all missed....which was no small disappointment for certain, and By the time he felt better, it was about time for packing for the early flight on the 27th to go to Boise and prepare for his wedding slated for the 30th.

At this point, I have no clue when all four of our kids will be able to share a Holiday event with us again together...but for me, it was the best Christmas of my Life...even with all the work and little hitches that came with it...I wouldn't trade any6 of it for anything in the world.

...but more on my thoughts later...this is Joe's section...and now he is married so things will never be quite the same again. There is an old saying:

"Your son is your son until he takes a wife, but your daughter is your daughter...for the rest of her life." I'm thankful we had this one last happening with Joe after college and before marriage....it may be a long stretch until the next 'everyone together' for anything, I fear.

HOME FOR CHRISTMAS........THE RUDY'S

Wendy, William, Jordan and Emily live here in Toledo with us, so we get to visit with each other all the time. Getting "ready" for Christmas was no small task and thankfully we had helping hands to do most of the heavy lifting...Will and Wendy!

...and most of the "picking up and cleaning up" during everyone's visit during Christmas, and;

...all of the 'clean up' and putting away of decorations and everything else while we were in Las Vegas.

Coming home finally from Vegas after delaying our departure for two days because Allen and I were "dying dog sick" (and still are)...we came in our home hacking and coughing to find everything in order and clean...which is not at all how we left it. So, a big THANK YOU to Wendy and Will is definitely overdue and they helped make the way better and more fun for everyone.

Of course, there was always some action going on during the holiday week as the kids came in at various times...and the Rudy's were in the middle of it all...

A game of chess with William resulted in a tough 'draw' and took us so long we didn't go back for seconds 'yet'....lol. Wendy's first "auntie hold" of Ean didn't have Ean looking too sure about this North Pacific Auntie of his, but by the time we all went on to the wedding...Auntie Wendy was just fine with him...cuddles and all...

Emily and Ean of course loved the puppies of various sizes, but I think the little Golden Lab "Yazie" was a definite favorite. Ean would go to the door time and time again saying "Doggies" and if Emily were around, she would open it for him and then they would wonder what to do when surrounded by the pack?

Will brought out his guns and the guys did some target practice, Joey shot a gun for the 'first time' in his life and noticed the bruise on his shoulder from the kick soon after...but Will is a crack shot so the target got quite a beating at that. Of course, when it came to the 'frog eating contest'...William was going to win 'hands down'...seems none of the City Slickers were 'up' for that 'challenge'. lol

One of the greatest things about big family 'get togethers' is getting the 'cousins' to hang out and have fun together. These events make for lifetime memories and relationships. I can still remember the fun of hanging out with my cousins over the years and I still treasure those times we had together as 'relatives'...with that common past and family. It just isn't quite the same as with 'pals' since cousins are 'lifetimers' and if they are close, they are 'lifetime close pals'.

Of course, the little one always wants to follow the bigger one, and at the top of the food chain around here is Jordan and Tommy...Sierra wants to be with Jordan and Tommy, Emily wants to be with Sierra, and Ean is almost ready to follow Emily around...but is still more interested in sticking his finger in a light socket if possible and Ben is three months old so all the movement is exciting to him...human or otherwise....but give em a few years and it should be a 'chain reaction' of considerable fun.

It was late in the game when Emily discovered the 'Laster Guns' but once she did, everyone around her was 'fair game'...she laid her Dad out quite a few times, but had a little bigger challenge with her Aunt Lindsay...as they ran around the house shooting at each other...it really made me laugh to see the 'little girl' come out of Lindsay for awhile. No matter how old your children get...you still have all those memories of the 'little one' in them because they made you laugh and cry so many times over the years...so watching my grand daughter's 'new adventure' was awesome...but watching Lindsay's 'little inside girl' play...well, that was 'priceless'.

HOME FOR CHRISTMAS - DAVID AND SIERRA

Son, David and his girl, Sierra had the least amount of time to spend with us. Arrival was late Christmas day (25th) and departure was early the 29th as we all headed for Joey's wedding in Boise, ID. planned for the 30th. David couldn't attend the wedding as he had some assignments he had to get done for college...(yes, a late bloomer in the education arena) so had to get home.

The night before they had to leave Sierra made this statement, "Tomorrow is going to be the worst day of my life."

Somewhat stunned by this profound statement, I asked, "Why do you think that honey?", and Sierra replied, "Because tomorrow we have to go home...".

I understood how she felt as she had so little time with her big Cousin 'Jordan Nicole'...and things were sort of a 'blur' from their arrival to departure since we almost had to start getting ready and packed to leave for Idaho almost as soon as David and Sierra came in. I didn't have any quality time with Sierra, or with David either for that matter...but there will be summer and boy, what a time we will have then...and hopefully, the "visit stretch" can be a little longer.

Still, Sierra learned to ride the Quad by herself, and soaking wet was just fine with her and David. Of course, some of the 'guys', like David, William and Jim did get in a paint ball game...but most of the shots hit the trees and brush as they used the forest to do battle. I think they each came home with one paintball "strike" showing on their cammies.

Toward the end of January, David will graduate from his third Law Enforcement Academny...this one, for Police Officers within California Municipalities. He already went through the State of California Peace Officers Academny, and the Academy for Federal Agents...but it seems that each jurisdiction has their own special way of doing things...so there ya go.

( I'm thinking about going down for his Graduation...as soon as my legs get seaworthy again from being in a constant state of 'rush' for more than a month!)

The good news is that he's racking up 30 Criminal Justice College Units, which gets him that much closer to a degree he talks about wanting here and there.